- This topic has 18 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 11 months, 3 weeks ago by Daughter promoting kindness.
January 19, 2020 at 4:19 pm #67282
By Hallie Lieberman . . . Sandy Rozek is the polar opposite of what comes to mind when you hear the word activist. A 78-year-old great-grandmother and
[See the full post at: The women involved in sexual offense registry opposition: NARSOL, ACSOL, WAR, CAUTION CLICK]
January 19, 2020 at 6:24 pm #67283
I cannot help but Thank Almighty God; for these Courageous and Brave Women, who are fighting for Men like Me, just to have a chance at a decent and peaceful life again. There is information out there on The Web about me-some of it true, but most of it NOT TRUE-and it’s the information that’s NOT TRUE, that’s making my life Hell On Earth today. In fact, it’s also that which IS TRUE, that’s doing just as much damage to me as that which is not true. Both are Vicious, and it’s as I’ve always said before: TESE ‘LAWS’, ARE NOTHING MORE THAN SANCTIONED MURDER OR ATTEMPTED MURDER ON MEN LIKE ME! I’ve had Harassment Phone Calls, Threats, and even been Followed by varying groups of no more than three to four Men at times since I’ve been released from Serving ALL MY FIVE YEARS from my last Incarceration from a Facility, in Northwestern Pennsylvania! I’ve not been Physically attacked as of yet, Thank God, but I’m Fearful all the same, because it just might happen to me. And what will be the ‘Justice’ I myself would want, if such people DO Attack and try to kill Me? NOTHING! Such guys will get only a Slap On The Wrist, and I get a PFA: Protection From Abuse Order that would do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO PREVENT SUCH GUYS FROM TRYING TO KILL ME YET AGAIN! I also again wonder; what about The People making such Laws in the first place? Would they feel the same way if One of THIER SONS; BROTHERS, HUSBANDS, BOYFRIENDS, UNCLES, FATHERS, OR GRANDFATHERS WERE CONVICTED OF SUCH CRIMES? NO, OF COURSE NOT! THEY’D DO EVERYTHING THEY COULD TO KEEP THEM OUT OF PRISON AND PROTECT THEM FROM REGISTRY REGULATIONS ALTOGETHER AND THEY KNOW IT! Judges would get Pay Offs, DA’s and ADA’s would be encouraged not to Convict so heavily against THEM, but take it easy on them. Probation, Probation and more Probation…WITHOUT TREATMENT!
And yes, THAT IS INDEED THE TRUTH TOO! Oh and by the way; it’s a hundred times harder on People of Color like me, so it feels like THE JIM CROW LAWS ALL OVER AGAIN! So I want to say to these Brave Women: ‘Thank You’ for trying to help me just live in Peace. I’m 61 years old and soon to be 62 next month…Lord Willing. I would like to see these so-called ‘Registry Laws’ Eradicated once and for all, because I’m too old now, to try acting as I used to and I sure as sure can be, DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO PRISON AGAIN JUST SO A BUNCH OF GUYS CAN KILL ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT! THAT, is what these so-called ‘Legislators’ REALLY WANT!!
And again I say: THEY KNOW IT TOO!!
January 20, 2020 at 10:54 am #67291
Tim in WI
plain slavery- repackaged!
January 20, 2020 at 11:32 am #67298
I like Sandy’s quote about “treatment”. Colorado’s treatment programs are also a joke. They are a great money maker. They impose restrictions on you that are additional to that which your parole or probation officer imposes. You are forced to reveal your sexual history which can easily lead to self-incrimination. They require frequent polygraphs which are of questionable accuracy. If you don’t pass you not only have to keeping taking the same one until you do pass (at a cost of $240 each) but they then require you to attend additional “treatment” sessions at $50 each, (sometimes as many as 6 a week!). Any slight infraction of the rules (which they can make up as they go) results in requiring more treatment sessions.
This is not treatment in any shape or form, just additional and costly punishment. I went into it hoping it would at least help me understand why I did what I did, but any attempt to do this is called making excuses for your behavior and results in more additional “treatment”. Many offenders have sentences like probation for 10 years to life, during which time they have to attend this “treatment”. I was fortunate in that I was convicted in Ohio and they allowed me to get off probation in less than 4 years and get away from any more “treatment” in Colorado.
January 20, 2020 at 12:48 pm #67300
I’d like to weigh in on the negative comments about treatment providers. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Licensed Sex Offender Treatment Provider in Texas. While I agree that some (perhaps too many) sex offender therapists are not good therapists and their treatment programs may in fact cause harm, there are many of us that care deeply about our clients and provide quality treatment. I am disheartened by the horror stories of therapists that I believe treat clients disrespectfully, use punitive strategies and are not providing caring, quality services.
However, just as people on the registry don’t want to be lumped into one negative and dismissive pile, those of us who are providing treatment don’t want to be either.
I see myself as an advocate for my clients and my goal is to help them successfully get through treatment, probation/parole, restore hope and live a good life.
I joined NARSOL several years ago because I too believe in rational sex offense laws. I wish more therapists would join in this fight. After all, we see the damage first hand, to people’s lives that result from committing sexual offenses, being convicted, navigating the judicial and criminal justice system and living on the registry.
As much as I wish that the goals of NARSOL be achieved, I also wish all sex offender treatment providers would provide safe, fair, just, caring, responsible and respectful treatment.
January 20, 2020 at 1:05 pm #67302
I have issue with this….
“ Henry also sometimes worries about discussing her advocacy. “I put a huge target on my back for being the person I am,” she says. “One guy told me online he would kill me and sodomize my corpse.””
This man committed a crime by threatening to kill and then rape a woman, most especially an elderly woman. I hope that Miss Henry passed his threat over to the local authorities or even the FBI who can track his IP address. This threat can land his sorry ass on the sex offender registry. Then he can have a fun day threatening to kill and rape himself.
January 20, 2020 at 2:04 pm #67307
I’d like to weigh in also since you’re a “treatment” provider. Now that I am no longer on probation or on the registry, I am going to say the things that when said during treatment/probation can get a registrant violated for not “following procedures” (because you all go running right to the probation officer when a client sneezes the wrong way).
Here’s the unfortunate disclaimer I seem to have to make whenever I speak of MY offense; I am in no way suggesting that it’s ok to engage in sexual/romantic relationships with teenagers that are under the legal age of consent according to each state’s law. And yes, I AM going to separate types of sexual crimes in my comment. There. Now that that’s out of the way, here goes…
Just what in the hell makes you or the courts feel that everyone with a conviction of a “sexual nature” MUST be put through “treatment”? Treatment for what? My offense was that I had a sexual involvement with a post pubescent teen who was underage (I THOUGHT the median age of consent was 15 in CT from what I heard from others and SAW actual relationships between 20somethings and 15 yr olds).
This misinformation and my laziness to actually do my homework is what made me feel that it would be ok since she was consenting.
When I was a teenager of 15, I had my first sexual rendezvous with a 20something woman and I loved every minute of it. It was me who kept pressuring her to “do it”. Yeah, me, the 15 yr old who (according to law) doesn’t know what he’s doing.
I’m happy to say that we had our rendezvous and went our separate ways. But had she ever been arrested for being with me, I’d become “the victim” and she would go through all the bullsh!t of how she “ruined a young boy’s life forever”. She didn’t ruin my life. I actually have always been attracted to older females in my youth. At age 20, I had a somewhat relationship with my former boss’s sister-in-law who was 35 at the time.
Then I met my ex wife a few years later and she was 7 yrs OLDER than me.
When I went through my divorce, that’s when I went into a depression for almost a full year. Not going out, not mingling, just going to work and home.
Then I took to the Internet and of all the females on this one site I frequented (not a dating site, a gothic rock music fan site), it was only this underage female that actually gave me the attention I was desiring as a divorcee. And since I was under the false impression that 15 was the legal age, I went through with it since I also had a case of the “f!ck it’s” at that time.
After 3 “dates” (two of which were sexual), I started feeling very uneasy and uncomfortable with being with someone so young. At first it was an ego boost but then it was the reality that I can’t even take her to a bar. So I attempted to sever the “relationship” and a few days later I was arrested.
What “treatment” did for me was absolutely nothing. The way I am explaining my situation now would have gotten me dragged into my probation officer’s room to be told that I am not being “sympathetic to the victim”. HORSESH!T!!! How “victimized” can someone be if they’ve already been sexually active at that age? It’s no shocker that there are single mothers her age. My mother had me when she was 15. High school kids have sex. OMG! Ya don’t say!
So a 15 yr old can carry a child for 9 months, then push that child out of her body BUT…. if she has sex AFTER child birth with a person more than 2 yrs older than her, she’s suddenly the VICTIM of a horrible crime….!!?? WHAT??????? How so!!??
If the age has to be an illegal issues then fine. I’m ok with that. But to consider someone a “threat to public safety” over this type of relationship is simply ABSURD! And it’s NOT what Megan’s Law was intended for.
I did NOT kidnap, rape and/or murder a PRE-PUBESCENT child.
If what I (an average Joe) did MUST RUIN THE REST OF MY EXISTENCE, then take Elvis Presley’s legacy out of the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame because he was 24 to Priscilla’s 14.
Let’s stop honoring our “forefathers” who very well may have “raped” their female slaves. Being involved in any interracial romance was once illegal in this country, remember.
I was appalled that I had to sit in a group of about 10 men telling our offense stories as if that was somehow going to work a miracle after we just spent time in prison for what we did and had plenty of time to THINK about what we did to get there.
Out of those 10 men, at least 3 of them had offenses against VERY YOUNG children. Sorry, not sorry but what I and several other men in that group did doesn’t belong in the same boat with someone who finds sexual attraction to 6 yr olds. PERIOD!
I remember one guy saying that this 15 yr old girl, (his “victim”) who I think was his neighbor, had a crush on him and would tap on his bedroom window to get his attention. When he said that, the “treatment provider” interrupted and told him that he’s treading on thin ice because he’s making it seem like the “victim” was at fault. He looked the treatment provider dead in the eyes and said “You wanted me to tell me story of how it happened, right?”
Treatment indeed! A person like myself and that other guy made a poor choice. There are people out there that actually WANT to have sex with CHILDREN or rape women and yet we are ALL FORCED into “treatment” by the probation dept.
I got nothing from treatment. When we’d all leave the group session and walk down the stairs and out to the bus stop, we all made fun and mocked the stupidity of the whole “treatment” thing. It’s pointless for most of us.
So, no matter what you might feel as an individual, it’s the PROBATION and COURT that forces us to go to these damn treatment sessions. If you really gave a damn and understand that certain situations do not require treatment, then go to the P.O.’s and tell them. Go to the courts and tell them.
I’d love to know how many “sex offenders” are forced into treatment for the “offense” of urinating in public or mooning someone as a prank or getting caught having CONSENSUAL sex in the back seat of a car which has ALWAYS been a trend for each generation.
I would truly like a reply to this from you as a treatment provider so I hope this site will publish this comment.
January 20, 2020 at 2:23 pm #67311
Rediculus, how they handle offenders, I was charged for agg. Criminal sexual abuse of a minor, because I filed a racial discrimination for being called a “nigger” and was retaliated on by Chicago Public School Principal. She used two students to lied to have me convicted. I went through consultation and paid $30 a week and was broke. Wrongfully convicted and get a job. Very depressing, I just want my life back.
January 20, 2020 at 3:11 pm #67313
I am seriously considering making my own documentary about this fear mongering registry. I want people like you so if you’re interested…: well, I don’t know how we’d exchange info. 🙁
January 20, 2020 at 3:44 pm #67318
battling other half
my husband is on the registry for something he didn’t do, he had 3 defense lawyers the third one telling him because the first 2 screwed up the paperwork so much he had no options other than a plea deal or trial, he took the plea and served 4 years because his mom was on the verge of collapse, his family wasn’t rich and they didn’t have the resources to fight, he served his time, but for the wrong offense ( he decked the girls step dad a few days earlier), there was no dna evidence and an exam was performed and showed no signs of interference and the girl in question admitted she lied about her age on the stand, yet they threw the book at my husband and he is left on this registry for life because the girls stepdad didn’t like the fact that my husband knocked him out, my husband turned his life around, became a responsible man, married me after this had happened and we were caregivers for our relatives, yet he is treated like scum because people can look up his name, I have been spat at, have had feces thrown at me and the police did nothing, the law in this state will do nothing to overturn his case saying because he served his time its done, which is a crock, how can people turn their lives around when they are dragged down every day, im not so worried about my husband being suicidal more myself because of what he has to go through
January 20, 2020 at 4:01 pm #67320
While I’m not sure everyone accused or convicted of a sex offense (since that can mean so many different things) needs treatment, I do agree that for ANYONE who finds themselves subjected to the nightmare of prosecution, incarceration and registration for a sex offense will undoubtedly end up needing therapy. After months or years of everyone in a position of authority with whom you come into contact treating you with disgust, disdain, contempt and suspicion, after being reviled, rejected, ostracized, after being used to further political careers and increased funding for the prison industry, the fbi and state LE, after the experience of life in prison under the daily threat of bodily harm or death, who would NOT need therapy? In our case, my son’s therapist was a truly wonderful woman of compassion and we were grateful. For the work you do, I am grateful. But it’s a sad reality that so many are nothing more than more contractors looking to make $$$ on the backs of the easy to hate.
January 20, 2020 at 5:50 pm #67322
I agree, not everyone who is convicted of a sexual offense necessarily needs treatment. As you point out, treatment is often a requirement without looking at individual needs. And not everyone who needs treatment needs the same type of treatment.
A good treatment program will tailor the program to an individual’s needs. I hope my clients feel as though they have been treated as an individual, instead of one size fits all.
I wish your treatment had been more helpful to you.
January 20, 2020 at 5:50 pm #67323
I’m so glad to hear that your family had a positive therapy experience. I agree that a good therapist can help cope with the stress of the system and all the negativity that brings.
My sincere hope is that more people have the benefit of a therapist/program that helps them cope with their new reality, rather than contribute to the problem.
January 20, 2020 at 5:50 pm #67325
My son was compelled to attend a “treatment” program following his arrest for possession of child porn. His sentence consisted of 90 days in work release jail (he was in school getting his masters degree in engineering), 3 years held back, treatment program, 10 years probation and registration. In treatment, 2.5 years after his initial offense, he apparently told a counselor that he had been someplace on the web that he should not have gone to. Instead of additional therapy or some other treatment like a drug offender might get, he had the police come and arrest him and confiscate his computers. Now he’s in jail on a probation violation and 4 warrants for child exploitation. How can that even happen and how can that be legal. Seems like entrapment to me. This happened in Idaho.
January 20, 2020 at 9:58 pm #67330
Sam in WV
Thank you for supporting NARSOL and thank you so much for being one of the therapists that is truly professional. I have seen my fair share of court ordered treatment therapists in my short life and have been given a mixed bag. My very first one was as many of the other folks on here have described. But I have also been to one that truly was trying to address all of our problems. They not only tried to treat our underlying problems but they were also concerned about our daily lives and how we, in the group, were getting along with it. Unlike my first therapist who had the mentality that “each and every perceived “problem we were having in our current life” was all avoidable had we not offended”, the second one actually acknowledged that we are all people and have problems we need help coping with on a daily basis and helped us move past our past mistakes. I am so happy to hear you are like my later therapist. I have so much respect for you. Like you say – we ask to not all be lumped in a group, so we shouldn’t place all treatment and therapists in the same group. I have seen both sides here in West Virginia.
Also, I am having troubles with immigrating my wife to the US due to my sex offender status. Believe it or not, most registrants also lose their right to petition a relative to get a green card (I had no idea, but it is true – look under the Adam Walsh Act and Sandy, if you are reading this I have a heck of a story to tell you about this restriction and rabbit hole for us offenders). Anyways, one way to try to remedy my situation is to get evaluated by a specialist and prove that I am NO RISK to my wife – sexually or otherwise. How can ANYONE do that? Anyways….in this ordeal I ran across a therapist out of state who actually advocated for me and my position. I was blown away. I will never ever lump all treatment and therapists the same. If anyone is reading this could keep my wife and kids in your prayers over this immigration issue I would appreciate it as well. It is still unresolved.
January 21, 2020 at 9:52 am #67338
So who’s the whore of Babalyon today? Who is playing this trick or treet on everyone caught up in much of this mess? Signs, Signs everywhere signs. Who is making one’s Hell on earth? Advocates for justice are good and I commend you ladies. While many of these questions have an answer its up to each and everyone to stand up to this slavery of justice in much of these sex registry ordeals. This lady who decided to kneel is a good example in today’s age. So who isn’t depressed and oppressed over much of this registry.
Women are just as good as men and there is nothing wrong with women fighting for the rights of these men to live free. After all someone changed someone’s dirty diapers. Sure we can all talk about the #Me too Movement or a person coming out of the closet or this LGBT Movement but is it all about sex or principals or who is getting shafted.
Sure these ladies have their dog day’s and I’m sure get frustrated but still put on a smile. One would guess that things are going a bit too fast as compaired to the 70’s or 80’s and computers are in many ways being misused and abused by those that suppose to protect us but who is following the principals of the good book to the best of their ability in a lot of this sexual game. Much of this registry via computer sis using the oldest trick in the book sex to enslave. Take a tip from Samson.
Protection is good, if it protects that person. Discrimination is not as in a discrimination for a job employment, or how far apart from a school to live, Gun Control, or whatever the situation. Now its travel for the sex offender and all the red tape one has to go thru. So being personal and up front in this ordeal in much of this sex game isn’t the way.. Seems like everybody’s mind is being raped by much of this registry by authorities. A lot of this sounds like an air raid that has gotten out of hand in a lot of this sex ordeal viia computers with no warning. Reminds me of those TV ad’s way back when.
Now Janice, Sandy, Vicki and the others know what they are doing and I don’t think they have burned their bra’s or competing with Jane Fonda or have bitten off more than they can chew, but yes many people have understand true value’s and principals for helping others at best, so I’m sure we all do have to salute these ladies for fighting, defending, and speaking up for this cause.
One wonders who’s power of the tongue is speaking up more in this justice of confusion in a lot of this sort of teenage painted ladies ordeal via this computer stuff. Teenage painted ladie via the internets in disquise. Now go figure that one out.
January 21, 2020 at 9:54 am #67342
Here’s something to think about and I’d like our therapist contributor to weigh in on this one:
What is the point of “treatment” if there’s no redemption in the eyes of the system once we successfully complete it?
Why are there states with LIFETIME registry? Why are registrants denied the opportunity to be a sponsor for someone overseas to come to this country in marriage? Why does our government feel the need to inform other countries of our intent to travel to them?
What is the point of the successful completion of “therapy/treatment” if there is no reward of freedom afterwards?
January 25, 2020 at 8:55 am #67410
Therapists, like former sex offenders (I say former because the term “sex offender” implies the present), are often lumped together. I agree that is a serious problem. With both categories of persons, how do we separate the chaff from the wheat?
After two individual sessions and two group sessions–with no objective testing–my therapist diagnosed me with: 1) Pedophilic Disorder; 2) Narcissistic Personality Disorder; 3) Paraphilic Disorder, Unspecified; and 4) Delusional Disorder. This was submitted to the US Probation Office as part of my treatment plan, which is incorporated into official file. If all of those were true, I would be a candidate for civil commitment.
Another highly qualified therapist who knows me well pointed out that I met none of the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5 for any of the disorders. However, because the first therapist has the contract, his word is taken as gospel. The guy is obviously pandering to his patrons. These are the charlatans who give competent therapists a bad name.
January 31, 2020 at 6:55 am #67710
Daughter promoting kindness
If am the daughter of a broken sex offender who served his time in state prison! My dad if you ask anyone who really knows him they will say he is a good lay down his life for anyone and served his country in Vietnam person. My dad is as of yesterday finally broken and without hope and im trying to keep him alive!! I am hopeful but no longer positive!! My entire family is going through this nightmare right now for the second time!!!
I am very appalled about the laws we live under! The people writing these laws come from normal families what they are doing and have done to all of you past offenders is unforgivable!! The damage that was done to me and my family and others is permanent and can never be undone or forgotten! I lost my Leo 5 yrs ago I had PTSD after that. My parents had to watch me 24/7 I was on suicide watch after I lost my little angel. It was my dad and mom taking care of me. 4 years later I was finally cutting back on my “don’t kill myself pills” I actually was super happy and proud of myself for getting off my meds., one step closer to being healed. UNTIL last march 2019. This is the hiccup you all fear about the registry!!! one wrong move or false accusation and you are picked up so fast during a snow storm in the middle of sunday night dinner in front of your adult grandson. They take you away no jacket or shoes and no diabetes medication for two days. Everyone of my family is paralyzed especially my dad. Here we go again but this time we have social media to deal with not just news papers, the local PD posted to facebook to save the entire country from my dad! I love my dad he has no criminal history before or after his 1983 charge. His children watched him struggle with mental issues prior to 1983. I always felt guilty about not saying something to get him help but I was only 7ish at the time. My dad is now 71 going through this again currently, he is reliving his traumas all over again, childhood to now. BUT this time is harder it hit is family so hard due to social media that it leveled us. Im back on my don’t kill myself pills plus additional ones. Yeah…lucky me…just what I always wanted!!! I was forced out of my job of 24 yrs, lost my health insurance took a huge pay cut and the best part this is now my third trauma my PTSD is now at a severe level, I also cannot sleep or eat without medication. My siblings were approached at work and their entire communities NOW know our past and we all have to relive this nightmare!! We had to tell my dads grandkids who knew nothing about his past what happened, plus his grandkids under 16 cannot see their Bampa which they want to see him, they miss him! Here it is a year later and we are no closer to getting any thing done. We have court next wed and if this is not over my dad will not survive. THE REGISTRY NEEDS TO BE ABOLISHED WE TREAT OUR ANIMALS BETTER THAN WE TREAT PAST OFFENDERS! How did any of this save the public????? I 100% and my family 100% have been mentally and physically impacted for life! How is it ok to hurt my family to save a hypothetical person? Oh and I had to move my horses at my parents home because the public thinks my horses are my dads and they were going to hurt my beautiful horses I raised since foals. This is only a small portion of the abuse we were bullied in school when we were younger and my dad was abused since he was a child all the way until he got out of prison but the bullying and attacks never stopped until he retired 5 yrs ago. GOD HELP US END THIS CRAZINESS!
They want to castrate convicted offenders in the south??? Are they crazy…they gotta be most definitely crazy!!! I cried when I read that article. Also how is it ok that abuse still goes on in prison’s??? NO ABUSE IS OK NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE!!!
Ive vented enough please guys keep language on here clean. Please give us ladies and Christians that courtesy! MOST IMPORTANT I FORGIVE YOU AND PLEASE KNOW YOU ARE LOVED!! No one ever told my dad he was good and all he ever wanted was to be loved and accepted. Instead he was taken advantage of and abused all of his living life.
Please more attorneys join this group. We are struggling with this and we cant do this with out professional help! Remove the Scarlet letter on past offenders and their homes…their homes contain family member’s that love them very much
This is why I don’t give my name. please don’t judge anyone everyone has a right to disclose who they are or not. Thank you all and take care!