Reply To: Atlanta RSOL Conference 2016 take-away: Whose voice is missing?


To Rick and others who have mentioned sexual abuse and victims’ feelings….

You may not like what I’m about to say but someone needs to start speaking REALITY and not “Law & Order: SVU” lingo…ready…? Here goes…

I know there are people who were actually sexually abused. However, that is not the case with most of the sex “offenses” that people are on the registry for. If you watch the local and national news when people are arrested for sex offenses, 9 times out of 10 it’s a consensual relationship between an older person and a person a year or so shy of legal age of consent.
It’s also a lot of legal age of consent students having relationships with teachers and because the older person is in a position of “power” the relationship is deemed “illegal”. This is HARDLY “abuse.

1) We never hear from the protected “alleged” victims. We get people speaking for them.
2) I was 15 when I sowed my wild oats with an older woman (legal age here is 16) so technically I am a “victim”. I enjoyed every moment of it and wanted to do it again but she declined after the one and only time. I do NOT want ANYONE speaking for me saying that I was sexually abused and forever damaged by something that comes NATURAL to ALL animal life (and yes, we ARE a form of animal).
3) There have been plenty of stories of “victims” marrying their so called “abusers” after the person served their time. Also, part of #3, there have been COUNTLESS young boys and girls who LIED about their ages and even tried to admit to the courts that it was their own fault and yet the older person was still held accountable and the younger person declared a “victim” who must be “protected” from the accused.

WTF is going on in this country?
Why do we SUGAR COAT anything to do with people convicted of sexual offenses by saying things like “they feel remorse for the poor victim”, etc, etc… Read and comprehend this carefully – the legal ages of consent are MADE UP by lawmakers. It’s not something made by any “higher power” or internal instinct. The people who made these laws can easily change them. They can bring the legal age UP or DOWN by a year or two.
Here in Connecticut the legal age is 16. Cross the state line into New York and suddenly the legal are is 17. Now wait a minute…. Who in the legislature gets to determine that a person old enough to operate a motor vehicle at 16 years old can somehow NOT make a consensual decision to engage in a sexual relationship with a 25 year old until he/she turns 17???
And if the person old enough to drive a car DOES in fact have a relationship at 16 with a 25 yr old, she’s a “victim” and didn’t know what she was doing and was taken advantage of by a “predator”…. WHAT!!!???? SPARE ME!

I’m so sick of the sugar coating and no one is standing up to say “Wait a minute! Where is there an actual VICTIM of an actual ASSAULT”?
I once read a news article about a couple who was (can’t fully remember…married or engaged to be…?) …anyway…the female was 16 (legal age in their state) and the male was 20+ or so. They MOVED to another state for his job and her future college. Well….the state that they moved to had a high age of consent law so guess what happened… YUP! They got found out and he got arrested. And SHE was considered a “victim” in a relationship that was already existing in their home state.

And all we can do is keep apologizing on behalf of ALL sex offenders and start talking about how we ALL feel bad about sexual “abuse”?
I feel bad about sexual abuse victims. But my idea of “abuse” is not a consensual relationship with a POST pubescent teenager. Sorry, not sorry for keeping it realistic.

Thank you for reading.