Reply To: America’s new pastime: Stomping on the underdog

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Daniel Silverman

“When I read these I get even madder. Just because someone else has managed to be content in a life of complete misery and injustice does not mean everyone can or should. Especially those of us who actually are not guilty of the crime we were convicted of.”

Like you, I also claim my innocence. It’s a long story that I won’t get into here. However, innocent or not, it doesn’t matter (for the sake of this discussion). We are on the registry and there is very little likelihood that we will ever be able to be removed from it, innocent or not. So, until that day comes (either something amazing happens and we are allowed off the registry or the registry just goes away, etc.), we have to find a way to live, to survive while on it. We have little choice.

“Lets face it how many sex offenders stand a chance of getting a date? The human thing would be to castrate us because we still have desires and most of use will never find a woman that will look past the BS.”

This is simply not the case. Whether someone will give you a chance has a lot more to do with attitude and presentation (how you look, how you present yourself). I am now engaged to a wonderful woman who loves me for who I am, believes in me, and is willing to put up with the crap I am going through because of her love for me. I didn’t meet her until the end of 2016, but I’d been on a few dates before meeting her. In each case, I was upfront about being on the registry. I explained the charge, my side of the story, and told each I would perfectly understand if they wanted nothing to do with me. In most cases, they were willing to at least hang out and talk.

“You do not know the male sex drive you cannot understand. Join a dating site and as soon as you get to the part were you are asked your name this will be the last communication from this potential mate.”

Well, I am a man and I understand the male sex drive. I also understand that it can be easily controlled. It is not something that should ever control you or anyone.

Also, people on the registry are not supposed to be on dating sites according to most site’s rules. So, you probably shouldn’t be trying to use dating sites to find a potential partner. Not trying to be mean, but meeting someone only online and then finding out they are on the registry is a sure way to make people think the worst of you. It will appear to them as if you are looking for a target. It may not be true, but people are taught to fear these types of things. There are other ways of meeting people. The human race has been doing it for, well, ever. 😉

“The majority of society today is a narcissistic, greedy, uncaring piece of trash. People love to see people fail, get hurt, and lose, it is like entertainment for them. I am almost 50 and it is like I’m living in an alternate universe from what I grew up in. All I ever wanted was to have a family of my own and live life to its fullest and celebrate every day to its fullest this is not possible anymore. People cannot be aloud to do this to people plain and simple.”

Well, look at history. It seems that people have almost always been narcissistic, greedy, and uncaring as a whole. I am 52, so about in the same age bracket as you are. I also feel like the world is different than it was when I was growing up. But I think that’s more a matter of perception. Had I never been arrested, had I never been put on the registry, I might have gone on with my life, ignorant of who bad things really are. We all tend to walk around with blinders on to some degree or other. When those blinders, in one or more areas, are suddenly removed, it is shocking, to say the least.

Like you, I just want to live my life. Like you, I am frustrated, but I refuse to give up.

Hang in there, D. Keep pressing on. And try to find joy where you can.