I wrote this piece in frustration and as a means of working through my thoughts, to be frank.
As far as the marches and any logical response (and I can’t promise logic here, to be honest) … well … I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m frightened and depressed. Each time I’ve tried to build something, each time I’ve tried to succeed so I can just live my life, I’ve had it taken away from me. Time and time again. Being on the registry just makes it all that much easier. The end result, regardless of whether it’s proper or not, is for me to want to withdrawal, hide away, and wish to just be left alone. True, it doesn’t do any good for anyone else, it doesn’t help the situation or anyone else on the registry, but I’ve gotten to the point where, frankly, I just want to live out the rest of my life and be left in peace.
As far as lawsuits and all that, it’s pretty difficult when 1) many of us don’t have any money (I know I don’t) and 2) many lawyers don’t seem to want to touch these issues with a 10 foot pole. Many of us feel like there is no way out, which is probably why so many on the registry end up taking their own lives.
I came out of jail over a decade ago with hope that I could still do something with my life. Instead, I’ve been beaten down again and again. Whether we like that or not, it has an affect on you.
There is no logic in this. Not for me. I am depressed and filled with emotional angst. I’m just being honest here. I don’t have any answers. If it weren’t for a woman who loves me dearly, I know I would not be breathing today. I live because I love her and she loves me. Without this one simple thing, I would honestly have nothing much left to live for.