I have been on the registry for 2 and a half years. While on probation I was not able to find a job but kept hope that I would be able to have more success when I got off probation. I completed my 2 years of probation, and sex offender treatment and moved to another State (high employment rate). 200 employment applications, and 15 job interviews later I am still unemployed. I was perfect for the job every time, explained the situation, and provided and extensive list of character references for the employer with friends and family contacts.
I used the internet to download porn, quite a bit was child pornography that I would close out immediately, I was using a file sharing software to download movies and music so my charge was labeled sexual exploitation. The charge makes it sound like I was a freak taking pictures in a basement and selling them on the street. I made a mistake, I should of thrown my computer in the fire once I realized what I accidentally downloaded, but didn’t take it seriously.
I understand suicide is not an answer and while I am in a rational state of mind now, the pressure and stress make it harder and harder to hold on to any kind of rationality and I am coming out of my gloom by the skin of my teeth and I only see it getting worse instead of better. Sex offender laws are getting worse and more unconstitutional. Employers that want to hire you can’t, because of insurance. Background checks are so inexpensive that a sex offender will never clear it to get a job. I think my last ditch effort will be applying for veterans disability, if that fails I will have no options, no hope, no relief, nothing left.
A small minority of sex offenders are doing great and I applaud you. You guys and ladies caught a break. Hopefully I can find the strength to hold on, I am not a bad person, I made a mistake, I accept it, but if society can never accept me, well, I am not strong enough.