In Mississippi a family destroyed

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

By Sandy . . . “My son would call me several times every day, and now we’re cut off from all communications.”  Matt’s voice choked up even more before he continued. “He is devastated. I am devastated.”

Matt and his son, like a great many others in Mississippi, are victims of recently passed legislation there, S.B. 2009, also known as Carly’s Law. This legislation prohibits any contact whatsoever between a person listed on the sexual offense registry and the named victim unless and until the victim petitions the court to revoke the no-contact order and the court agrees.

This includes a person who was registered for sexual contact with a willing but underaged partner even if the two of them are now married.

This includes a person who, as a minor, was registered for sexual play with a younger sibling or cousin even though the two of them have since reconciled and have been enjoying a normal familial relationship.

This includes Matt. In 2012 Matt was convicted of illegal touching of a vulnerable adult. His son Paul, age 16 at the time, was the victim.

Paul, fostered and then adopted by Matt and his wife Patsy, was born with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. He suffers numerous learning and developmental disabilities, was and continues to be prone to outbursts of violence, and often expressed himself in sexually inappropriate ways in public and at home.

He was expelled from several schools. He has been arrested and been in and out of various institutions. At one point when he was living at home, he would get into bed with Matt and demand sexual touching, often in a fit of rage and threatening to use a knife. Fearing for their safety, Matt one time gave in to the demands and manually masturbated his adopted son.

Matt hangs his head in shame while telling about this, and his voice grows more choked. “I know what I did was stupid and wrong. I gave in to the pressure and the fear that he really would harm us. It was a moment of weakness for which I will pay for the rest of my life.”

Soon afterward Paul was arrested again and became a ward of the state. He was placed in a state-paid private institution, where he remains to this day. While there, he acted out again, and the state investigators grilled him. He told them about the sexual incident with his father.

Matt suffered two heart attacks, had open heart surgery, and then in 2011 was arrested and charged with a sexual crime. He pled guilty, and his prison sentence was suspended with a term of probation given, which has now ended.

Paul never wanted his father to be arrested or separated from him. Matt and Patsy made the decision that they could not have Paul at home again, fearing reoccurrences of the streaks of violence and sexual demands. However, they have remained close by use of Paul’s cell phone, speaking several times daily, and Patsy visits him. Matt felt it best that he not visit, seeing him only one time after his conviction.

When Matt saw that Carly’s Law was signed into law by Governor Tate Reeves on July 7, retroactively enforced as of July 1, he immediately stopped answering Paul’s calls. All communication is handled by Patsy. Paul is extremely upset at not being able to speak with his father. Every time he calls, he asks her if Matt has been able to find a lawyer to get this law changed.

According to this new law, only the victim, or his/her parents or guardian, may petition the court to waive this. As an institutionalized ward of the state with diagnosed mental and emotional disabilities, Paul has no standing to petition. As the offender, Matt cannot. This removes any due process from him and tramples his First Amendment rights of free speech and association with his own son. And it adds additional penalties ex post facto. It leaves him with no rights, only permanent disconnection and separation from his son.

Matt’s voice had grown weaker and weaker in telling his story, but he continued. “This has put an impenetrable barrier between myself and my son. This is ill-conceived legislation. It was done in total disregard for due process; it blocks reconciliation and tramples constitutional rights. It destroys families and people who have forgiven and been forgiven and have healed and reconciled.

“It destroys lives that had learned to trust again.”

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Sandy Rozek

Sandy is communications director for NARSOL, editor-in-chief of the Digest, and a writer for the Digest and the NARSOL website. Additionally, she participates in updating and managing the website and assisting with a variety of organizational tasks.

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    • #74833 Reply
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      The Criminalized Man

      What about Patsy, doesn’t she still have standing to petition?

    • #74838 Reply
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      Perry

      This is what EVERY State Legislature wants! They WANT families destroyed-as long as it isn’t theirs-and they WANT People to lose hope and die…again, as long as it isn’t THEM! See the Pattern yet?
      Done.

    • #74840 Reply
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      Jacob

      Patsy has no standing as she is no longer Paul’s guardian— the state is.

    • #74848 Reply
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      perplexed in NC

      I think that it is crucial to understand that this increased push to move the politics farther and farther left towards Marxism and Communism, by design, seeks to destroy the traditional family model. Marxism and feminism seek to remove the patriarch as head of household and wish to give the control to the government; the elite at the top will think for the public and will dictate how all must live. Religious freedoms will be gone, after all the patriarchal model was given by GOD. The government will be the Higher Power and deviants and their families will be removed from society altogether. Look at how the Chinese treat Muslims who would put Alllah above the government regime. Internment will come to America again if we aren’t conscious, awake and informed. Recidivism rates, data, and science become irrelevant if it doesn’t promote the narrative. Don’t think that large government cares about the individual. Especially individuals already on the outside of “civilized” society.
      God help us. Only He can.

    • #74850 Reply
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      Registered Man

      This seems extreme, however, I hear a lot of rationalizing. That’s not healthy.

    • #74852 Reply
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      perplexed in NC

      I think that being “rational” and “rationalizing” means understanding cause and effect and making informed predictions of future consequences. I believe that riding a rollercoaster of emotion/feeling is unhealthy and though our society is wrapped up in drama in order to give life worth, I choose to remain in my wise mind. Naivete is quaint in children, but dangerous in adults. Our country is predicated on the idea of governance by the people, for the people, and those people need to be aware and thinking. Not just giving their power (=vote) to politicians who more and more resemble dramatic actors rather than thinkers.
      Registered Man, how would have us speak and act?

    • #74859 Reply
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      Bill

      Talk about unwarranted government intrusion, this is an excellent example.

    • #74864 Reply
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      charlie822

      aw, poor baby…. listen, we all gotta sad story. If Jesus himself were molested as a kid and Mary and Joseph personally show up at the White House, they wouldn’t care in the least. How many years are we going to be telling ourselves these stories. No one feels sorry for us and no one ever will. Our presence in the courts is the only thing that will change any of this. Articles, podcasts, blog posts always filled with complaining and self-pity. That’s not working ok. Let’s think of another avenue of reform. Roe vs. Wade from the moment it was filed in the Dallas district court to the final Supreme Court decision was less than 3 years. One of the biggest most controversial cases in the history of our country was opened and closed in less than 3 years. Meanwhile we’re now entering our second decade? Is there no high powered lawyer who will take this on? Among almost a million of us we can’t seem to get organized enough in a decade to raise money for an attorney to settle this once and for all? If I didn’t know better I would start to believe we are suffering from some kind of Stockholm Syndrome where we are so used to the abuse and impossibleness of it all that we have unconsciously accepted it and no longer know how to live without it.

    • #74869 Reply
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      Brian

      Charles is right. Weneed to bind together once and for all. Too many of us do havr Stockholm Syndrome and want to just bury our heads. Money is power. As I habe said before, there are almost 1 million registrants in America. If all gave 10 dollars a month wewould habe 120 million a year. You don’t think we could get more lawyers fighting this unconstitutional laws with that type of money. Gibe people. 10 dollars or even 1 dollar a month isnt much.

    • #74870 Reply
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      Steven Peterson

      Great point. The leftists and cultural Marxists have taken over the legal system and are out to destroy the family, and the role of men as head of the household in particular.

    • #74871 Reply
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      H n H

      During my lost recent visit to update my registration, I asked if there was any indication of any of the laws surrounding the registry to be lessoning or lightening up at all. The response I received was “not ever likely, this is very well supported and funded”. I stood there in the little room behind the glass, slipping my funds as well as signing my life away and noticed the numerous file cabinets stacked against each other filled to the brim with registry papers of everyone in the county. Amongst those were drug offenders, violent offenders as well as the sex offenders. Only difference is, if you attempt murder and wind up on the violent offender registry, then after 7 or 8 yrs you’re removed. On the other hand if you fell into the lure of an underage girl then you’re deemed dangerous for life. I took note of the lengthy forms I had to sign, putting my little squiggle of a signature next to each of the 50 or so conditions I’m forced to comply with and realized this is my new life. Nothing I say or do will ever change anything. I’m far better off dead where at least I won’t have to fork over $80 a yr for the privilege of being on a public hitlist. I could continue on, but I digress. Nothing will ever change until a person of power is affected by the registry….and that day my friends will NEVER happen because those who know the harm of the registry would never allow such harm to come to one of their own loved ones. And therefore, we will never see an end to this.

    • #74872 Reply
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      Jim

      This country “THE MONSTER” has always been pitting us people against each other. It is its best way to distract all people from what is actually going on. In 4 months the monster has deleted EVERYONES rights. Now the monster tells EVERYONE if you are “essential” or not. It tells you if you can work to support your family or not, it tells you when you can leave your house, it tells you who you can visit and when, it tells you when you can go shop for food and what you can buy, it tells you what to wear on your face, and it tells you when you can travel. It tells you to tell on your neighbor if he or she is not conforming, it tells you that the people not conforming to the mandates are your enemy by endangering your safety. For years the Monster has taken, walked on and made examples of sex offenders for the “safety” of the people. Now they have taken, walked on and stripped the rights of every American citizen in the USA, For the “safety” of the people. The very scary part is that EVERYONE just complied, no backlash, just lost everything for their safety. So do you think anyone is going to care about ANYONES rights any more???? No! because it has been done. Sex offenders were an experiment and it passed. Now they tell everyone who can contact who and who can visit who, “For Safety’s Sake”. Not just sex offenders are screwed anymore. Everyone is.

    • #74886 Reply
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      Facts should matter

      They can’t legally kill us, so they do the next worse thing by making us world-weary and succumbing to outrage fatigue by forcing us to register until we die. It appears to be working because just about everyone {including the person in this article) has all thrown their towel in and adopted the “it is what it is” attitude. This is exactly why we continue to be easy political punching-bags and doormats

      Their argument claiming the registry is “not meant to be punitive” is like saying Segregation wasn’t meant to be racist.

      So how do you combat THAT kind of misguided hatred and ignorance?

      We’re deluding ourselves thinking we can get into John Lewis’ “good trouble” and win hearts and minds with this subject. The hysteria and fear is just TOO pervasive to be combated with conventional methods like protesting, sit-ins, etc. Just because something is popular among the masses doesn’t mean that it’s right.

    • #74893 Reply
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      A Mistake They Made

      Facts should matter,

      My attitude is not “it is what it is”. My attitude is “I do not accept my wrongful conviction, and I will not accept any more rules or new laws regarding my wrongful registration.” “I will treat any further encroachment on my life as if it is an attack on it, and I will respond accordingly.” The powers that be do not realize the kind of scathing rage, and hatred they have created in the wake of their vindictive double jeopardy, and ex post facto punishments. If they had a clue they would back off. It is only a matter of time until they find out just how badly they crossed the line. I only hope that the person who finally snaps does not cause any collateral damage in the process. It would be bad for the rest who are sitting on the sidelines biting their lips until they bleed. There are many who do not feel “it is what it is” but people like me do not always post on the board because of what we might say. It is very hard to LET people hurt you repeatedly for something you did not do, and do nothing. Even if i was guilty of the crime they convicted me of I would feel almost the same now. I’m just trying to keep it inside. This is how i know i’m not alone. This is why I know we are here!

      Best Regards

      A Mistake They Made

    • #74894 Reply
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      A Mistake They Made

      Brian,

      If society did not benefit from those 1 million ever again, but actually incurred losses, or had to support sex offenders like the disabled. If people on the registry were not obedient, and did not do what society wants them to do (be a good little worker drone). Society would not benefit so much from this program. Why do you think we have to pay them fees now. The tax payers don’t want to pay for anything even if it is to be mean to a sex offender. In fact if everyone on the registry was causing harm to society in such a way that they knew it was because of the registry.They would have to stop the registry. This would have to be done on a massive scale however. It would hurt a little just like good medicine always does.

      Disclaimer —— I do not suggest anyone do anything. This is simply a theory spoken aloud with my 1st amendment right.

    • #74897 Reply
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      A Mistake They Made

      HnH,

      Your life still can have purpose. When ever I get down, and think I have no purpose left, I remember i still have not made every one of these (insert series of very bad language words here) regret the day they decided to make these laws. I sometimes pondering for hours, and days of just what you might be able to do to make the registry less attractive to the “good citizens”. How can we make the “good people” mad at the law makers that created the registry laws. hmmmmmmmmm

    • #74899 Reply
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      A Mistake They Made

      Jim,

      You are 100% right. I and many others have been screaming this to the masses. They did not listen because of who we are. Now their failure is complete, and they will reap their rewards. In the end they too will have to join us to fight the monster or 1984 here we come. Ahhhh my rant is done!

      Best Regards

      A Mistake They Made

    • #74903 Reply
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      nobody in particular

      charlie822, I’ve met many people who were in horrible relationships, and all they ever did was complain about their partner/wife/whatever, but they never just up and left them, even when neither had children to look after. Some of these relationships were very abusive, and I constantly asked why *anyone* would allow themselves to be treated so badly, for so long. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems to me that when someone is subjected to abuse for long enough, they sort of ‘normalize’ it. However, there is more to it, because some of these people told me what they feared more than being trapped in a nightmare of a relationship, was the prospect of being completely *alone*, and taking a huge risk, constantly worrying that they may be unable to support themselves, or stand on their own two feet. I think that the reason why some kind of major ‘revolt’ hasn’t arisen to the ever worsening laws and policies regarding so called ‘sex offenses’, and why individuals continue to put up with being treated like something you’d scrape off the bottom of your shoe, is for the exact same reasons people remain in relationships where they will *always* be absolutely miserable: Fear, the feeling of having no control, and the ‘normalization’ of abuse and loss of liberty. Before change can ever happen, people need to first become aware that change *needs* to happen, and most importantly, that they are *not* alone. This is why people share their ‘sob’ stories here, and why communication and information are so important… a bit more than two cents, but my opinion, for what it’s worth.

    • #74902 Reply
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      Jim

      Finally someone agrees with me! Thankyou, A Mistake they made! I would like to chat with you more. Is there a way I can send you my email or contact info? Need to get together with everyone like us to derail this mess.
      Jim

    • #74922 Reply
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      Svejk

      That’s just plain rotten! I swear these state officials plan things out to stick it to an RSO in the most evil way they possibly can.

      @Charlie822 @Brian, I wholeheartedly agree with you on the legal fight. I have been trying for years to whip folks into a frenzy on other sites and well as here, but nothing ever seems to come of it. When you mention a monetary contribution, the first thing you hear is the siren wail of “I can’t spare anything, I can barely exist!”, all the while said person has the latest iPhone and gigabit internet at their apartment. And this was only for a one-time contribution, let alone a monthly contribution. The other problem is getting an attorney to actually take interest and follow through as high as it needs to go. We would definitely need to beware of shysters who might try to bleed whatever funding we have dry (Michael Avennatti style).

      @A Mistake They Made, you’ve got the right idea and attitude. Scorched earth in any dealings with the state or feds. I reared up on my hind legs and had at them about two years ago, and was removed from the registries most ricky-tik. I remain on the Florida registry, even though I haven’t lived there since Hitler was a Corporal, and the Nevada registry has my name, but absolutely no data, reason for being on there, or photograph, yet they refuse to remove my name. I have seen some asinine shit in my time, but these two states take the cake. I went guerilla and filed a fraud, waste and abuse charge to the feds about Florida taking all the fed money for keeping dead folks and non-residents on their list. Nothing happened yet, but the complaint is still in the system. Perhaps when the current powers-that-be finish crucifying the previous powers-that-were, there may be an interest taken in stepping on some dicks down in Florida.

      Keep fighting, folks. Do not give up, and stand your ground. Put *them* on the spot, and make them show you the regulations and explain everything, in writing if possible. Push the limits as often as you dare, and stand up to bullies. For any of you who are being threatened, I would suggest starting to carry a knife, pipe, or baseball bat (do NOT forget the ball and glove) and beat the shit out of anyone harassing you. It is far better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6, as the saying goes!
      Venceremos!
      Svejk

    • #74923 Reply
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      Brandon

      This country might be connected by geography; yet the laws and punishment vary across the country. Destroying families based on nothing but fear is wrong and those that support it are true monsters. It’s time for people to wake up, stand up and show up!!! Tyrants be dammed

    • #74978 Reply
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      A Mistake They Made

      Jim,

      I must stay underground for now. I have not yet exhausted my legal options.

      Take Care!

      A Mistake They Made

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