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When will “Me too” become “Everybody too”?

By Shelly Stow . . . Jan, a junior executive for a large company, was seeking approval for a new project. She was learning how essential it was to have the friendship and support of the more senior and influential company executives. Therefore, when Ted, one of those important and influential persons, made teasing comments to her about her physical attributes and flirted and joked about a sexual assignation with her, she took it in stride, smiled, and even flirted back a little.

That was twenty years ago. Jan is no longer with that company, but Ted is, now even more senior. Jan has realized, along with countless other persons, primarily women, that Ted’s comments and behavior were inappropriate and actually amounted to sexual harassment.

Swept along with the backlash against harassment by those in positions of power, she reported Ted’s past behavior to his company and in the media. She was applauded for her courage in “coming forward” and “speaking out.”

No criminal charges were expected, of course. Ted hadn’t broken any laws, and even if he had, the statute of limitations had expired. He had just been a bit of a chauvinist pig. He wasn’t even sure that he remembered Jan or his behavior with her.

None of that mattered to the company. The board of directors fired him almost immediately.

A very familiar story, it is repeating itself over and over. The basic elements don’t vary: a man (almost always) in a position of power; a woman (almost always) hoping to do well in the company or the profession; many years later accusations of inappropriate sexual behavior on his part and helplessness on hers; his very quick firing/removal/canceling of contract by the company.

So what’s the problem?

Was he actually guilty? Only he and she know. Why did she wait so long to speak up? It doesn’t matter. He isn’t being charged with a crime. There are a few people here and there raising a stink about due process and innocent until proven guilty, but no one seems to be paying attention. One writer said that innocent until proven guilty is a legal concept, not a societal one.

The fact that it is a constitutional one seems irrelevant. But if we are willing to change the rules in the absence of legal action, how soon will we be willing to change them within the legal context? This may be the very definition of the slippery slope.

Will this run its course, causing enough concern for enough people that some actual pushback occurs?

Or will others, emboldened, see the perfect way to get rid of unpleasant co-workers, grumpy and demanding supervisors, or others they just don’t like?

What could be easier? Make a few accusations to top management, go public if necessary, and problem solved. How can he prove he didn’t say that to you over the water cooler?

What’s important is that you don’t have to prove he did.

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Maestro 3 weeks, 3 days ago.

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  • #30188 Reply

    Anne

    This has already made its way into the judicial system. Take a young woman accusing an older man that he approached/ molested her. It’s a done deal. She doesn’t have to prove it. All she has to do is say it. H

  • #30208 Reply

    Saddles

    While I respect Shelly’s views on a lot of issues my feelings is that she cannot commit on men since she is made of man or should we start with a power play. Now I’m not saying who’s good or bad but every since the garden of Eden women have wanted to dominate men. Yes we all need to learn lessons and we all should get those from the bible.
    I have always wondered why Shelly would take on a role such a sex advocate. Just like Anne commented ” all she has to do is say it.
    This article seems more like a debate than those sex registry issues. Bottom line is women are the weaker of the sex but seem to cling to the Helen Reddy song “I am woman when really we are all equal. Remember women were made to be a help mate for the man.. Yes man should know better bur it seems today one touch and he or she has the right to sue. Now were does the greed come in or are we all still in culture club groupie mode.

    • #30213 Reply

      SandyAdmin

      On behalf of Shelly, she appears to me to be a very intelligent woman and therefore should be able to comment on anything about which she has an opinion.

      It appears to me that you may be misreading her focus in what she wrote. Her criticism of the MeToo movement seems to be the same as yours.

      It also appears to me that men and women each have their own strengths that complement each other; I wonder if this is what the Creator intended?

      Surely you are aware that some of the strongest voices and participants in this struggle are women — including myself. We are not, as you term it, “sex advocates,” but civil rights advocates. Why do we take on this particular issue? For me, I feel it is the right thing to do.

      • #30378 Reply

        Michael

        Thank you Sandy, for bringing balance to Saddles comments.

    • #30218 Reply

      Maestro

      Saddled,

      1. You keep referencing biblical scriptures that not everyone believes in and absolutely NO ONE puts much worth in. If we lived according this man-made fear mongering fairy tale:
      A) Women would forever be 2nd class. This includes our mothers, sisters and daughters.
      B) Rape would be legal only that when a man rapes a woman – he’s doomed to have to pay a bride price to her father and marry her.
      C) Virgin female children would be fair game.
      D) We would stone to death anyone who disobeys laws including CHILDREN who disobey parents.

      Are you 100% sure you want to keep following in a make believe religious faith that condones such things?
      Remember, before you say “that was then…blah blah blah” – “god’s word is everlasting and never changing” and “god is not the author of confusion”, well, that I can agree with. Because MAN wrote the stories and MAN made errors with continuity throughout the Bible. So man is the author of confusion.

      Now then… the way in which you spoke about Shelley and her article tells me that you *do* in fact look down upon women as 2nd class. “Women are the weaker….” have you ever known a woman that could karate chop you into the next decade? I have.
      The only women who are weak are the ones who CHOOSE to be. The same liberal leftist who protest about women being equal to men are the first ones to cower in a corner in fear of their lives.
      Most all of those types of women would not survive another fictitious idea – a zombie apocalypse.
      Which is why I attract more towards women with a backbone like if the characters of “Maggie” and “Michonne” of The Walking Dead TV show were real, well…I’d pick Michonne.

      The reason I am ‘coming down’ on you in regards to you always bringing up biblical references is because you’d never win a court argument with that.
      You can’t stand in front of a judge and say “Well, God told Moses that it was ok to take young female virgins for their own pleasure”
      This is also the words of the same “god” and bible that speaks poorly about sexual immorality being sinful.
      Go figure.

      If there IS a god, it’s damn sure not the one that was made up for the very purpose the sex offender registries were made up for which is – FEAR MONGERING.

      Have a merry Christmas 😁

    • #30377 Reply

      Michael

      Your reply is embarrassing. Please learn to write correctly, and don’t refer to the Bible in such an embarrassing way. You bring mockery to the Bible by your twisted views

  • #30216 Reply

    D

    If men need to be fired or chastised for sexual harassment in the work place then the same needs to happen to women who sexually manipulate their way up the ladder. The real problem we face in this country is sexual double standards until the field is level trying to fix anything is just not going to work out. Good woman bad man must end. If it does not the future of this country is MGTOW or worse and it will be deserved.

    • #30222 Reply

      Maestro

      Good point, D.
      The feminist movement is a man-hating one now, but not when it first started.
      3rd wave feminism has created the most miserable women on the planet who spend their every waking hour just LOOKING for something to complain about regarding men. And yet they say we are misogynistic.
      I don’t hate women. I don’t know a man who does. Not even a gay man who hates women. In fact, gay men gravitate towards women as best friends and women feel “safe” around gay men because they know those men are not sexually attracted to them.

      But women of the 3rd wave feminist movement are man haters. I often wonder if they hate their own fathers, brothers and sons as well. Since we’re all just “rapists” in their eyes.

      Oh the irony.

  • #30237 Reply

    Saddles

    I have to commend you Sandy for speaking up and yes you are right. While I can’t really say anything good or bad about another we can all comment but in other ways we need to commit to this cause that some are ensnared in.
    Now I’m not for or against womens commitments or comments. Remember love covers all sins. I can’t even take the liberty to know why some of you women are in this, but if its to fight for justice than thats a blessing. And your right Sandy I don’t have the right to tell others what to wear because we are all naked in one way or another, we are all blind, just as Jesus made the blind to see?
    Sure Shelly has her point as many of us on here to even my friend Maestro. Some of the comments on here can seem “To Me” to go in one ear and out the other and some need to be left alone. Harassment have been going on for a very long time so no one is without harrassment in certain ways and we can all be guilty of that but sex offense can be conjured up by others so are we all guilty? Sure we all get mad, jealous, or upset but don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath.
    How many were harassed by these sexting ordeals to get one to come down to their level? How many actually had the intent to question the lady or girl to find out their real age before going to meet? Sandy in ways you are right and in ways Shelly is right but didn’t the bible say let God be true.
    You see all we want is peace on earth. why did Jesus say blessed are the peacemakers? We can all have a Christian radicalism or use Christian principalism but remember two wrongs do not make a right. Now I realize a woman can take just so much we can even look at all this in the divorce rate but we are here to talk and understand this sex registry feascial.I can’t look at the bible as a fairy tale or should i look at jezzabel as a harlot. So is all this uproar about loving thy neighbor as you would respect them to love you or is it man wanting to dominate man?

    • #30242 Reply

      Maestro

      “I can’t look at the bible as a fairy tale…”

      Because you’ve probably never sat and read it cover to cover, like I did.
      But either way, it doesn’t change the FACT that your constant reference to the bible isn’t changing the minds of the legislators, police, prosecutors, judges or the public. Therefore, it has no validity in these discussions in the manner in which you present such references. Thank you.

      • #30379 Reply

        Michael

        Beautifully said! And I’m a believer in the Bible and don’t see it as a fairy tale. But the way “saddled” communicates is twisted, unorthodox to common Christian understanding, and downright offensive to this believer. I do find saddled to be quite cantankerous to the unity and positive change that NARSOL pursues. Let’s focus on that and not negative religious people who are dissociated from common Orthodox Christian belief.

  • #30658 Reply

    Byron

    Alas, I fear this “feeding frenzy” will spill over into legislative over reaction. Add to the “me too” accusations, more women in legislative and judicial positions, and I’m afraid that the chances for meaningful changes in sex offender laws and restrictions are dim indeed.

  • #31238 Reply

    Saddles

    You know you and maestro are 100% right I must be picking up some things from the Golden Globe awards from Oprah’s speech as a matter of fact I would rather be wrong and take my punishment just the same as everybody else and let women be right. I guess women were created first right. What it really comes down to is basic as Paul stated and I’m sure you can recite that verse.
    Sure we all have problems dealing with this sex offender issue. We are all wrapped up in it in different circumstances. I see no harm in adding a bit of Christian principals as Jesus taught or should we all go back to the old law or as God told Hosea… go marry a woman of whoredom so please learn of Him. Sure I even have to brush myself up sometimes. its called refreshing. And remember God loves all just the same. So we should all stay on topic. And believe it not all this that we are all wrapped up in is about principal. So do we all judge a book by its cover?

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