They’re killing sex offenders

By Chris Dornin . . .

I was pleased to see a recent Sentinel editorial declaring the Internet sex offender roster punitive. My nonprofit group Citizens for Criminal Justice Reform filed an amicus brief in December supporting John Doe, a former sex offender challenging the New Hampshire sex offender shaming list as an unconstitutional ex-post-facto punishment.

At the oral arguments in May, all four justices asked questions suggesting they viewed the registry as an added criminal penalty applied retroactively. If Doe wins, he will blow some serious holes in the targeting registry. Citizens for Criminal Justice Reform is raising money to pay expert witnesses for a follow-up class-action suit that is ready for filing.

But your editorial should have gone further in its criticism of sex offender laws. Keene has lately become the New England epicenter of vigilantism against this demonized group. David Wheelock of Keene, a registrant and invalid, was shot dead at his front door last December. A front-door bludgeoning in October left Walter Field of Westmoreland with major head trauma. His attacker was looking for someone else, according to State Police. The next-door neighbor was a registrant.

It’s pretty easy to connect the dots here. But Keene and State Police have refused calls from Citizens for Criminal Justice Reform to take down the registry as a precaution, or even warn registrants they may be in grave danger. Worse, to my knowledge, the Keene police are the only ones in New Hampshire who post a user-friendly Internet map of sex offender registrants to help neighbors find them.

I must respectfully disagree with this part of your editorial:

“Given the recidivism rates involved in sexual assault cases, especially those victimizing children, there’s a lot to be said for keeping the public informed of legitimate threats. There does need to be some way for the public to be informed.”

That passage is bad advice and reinforces the dangerous myth that sex offenders have high recidivism rates. Former Assistant Safety Commissioner John Stephen urged the Senate Judiciary Committee in 2002 to post our registry online, saying only 16 of the 717 people who had been on the non-public registry to date had been arrested for new sex crimes, including three for indecent exposure and one for criminal restraint. Stephen assumed publishing the list would lower the rate even more.

Dozens of research articles confirm that sex offenders have the lowest same-crime recidivism rate of any ex-prisoners, a cumulative 1 to 5 percent in the first three years out of prison, depending on the state. The rate per year plummets after that.

There is also extensive research showing the public registry does nothing to lower recidivism, but makes registrants unemployable and homeless. The widespread vigilantism against them makes them even more likely to re-offend. It costs them wives and support systems. It keeps them on the run. It pressures landlords to drive them out.

Lawrence Trant repeatedly stabbed a Concord registrant in 2004 and tried to burn an apartment building with another seven registrants.

“I hope I’ve done a service to the community,” Trant told the Boston Globe. “These guys are sexual terrorists.”

A chanting Manchester mob burned a scarecrow on the wooden porch of registrant Gloria Huot in 2006. Huot was away, but her roommate watched from inside their home with her two young sons and a baby. That is life on the registry.

Victim advocates in Ohio see the problem. Rape crisis centers in Texas and Cleveland filed an amicus brief supporting the successful Williams vs. Ohio challenge to the Ohio public registry. Margie Slagle, the lawyer for the women, argued the shaming list perpetuates dangerous myths, creates a false sense of security, misuses police resources, harms and destabilizes former offenders and thus increases the risk of recidivism.

“Any argument,” Slagle wrote, “that Ohio’s (Adam Walsh Act) is simply a remedial law designed to protect children and the public from sexual abuse and sex crimes is seriously flawed. Ohio’s AWA is not based on empirical evidence or proven research, but on fear and misinformation.”

The Ohio law was similar to New Hampshire’s.

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  1. George Schmidt

    Concerning —-They’re Killing Sex Offenders—–

    In more ways than one:–. My son KILLED HIMSELF in prison just 39 days ago (May 4th) because of the CRUEL and UNUSUAL punishment of 37 years! and a life time! of probation ! after release, handed down to him by a 5th district Louisiana judge. Did my son murder someone in cold blood? Did he rape an adult female? Did he rape a child? Did he rape several children? Maybe he kidnapped and raped a child for 10 years! NONE OF THE ABOVE. He was a FIRST TIME, internet only (NO HANDS ON), Was not a producer. NO prior arrests, COOPERATED FULLY upon arrest, admitted guilt, was sorry, asked for leniency (in his child-like manner — he had aspergers syndrome) . But no matter. The judge gave him 37 years + lifetime probation! If you don’t believe me, look up Benet G. Schmidt, sentenced in the 5th district of Louisiana (April 5, 2013). The DA recommended the MANDATORY of 20-24 years. (Even that is way too high.) So you see, the SYSTEM killed my son. Ben was in mental agony for 3 years until he could stand it no longer. What kind of justice is this? First time, non violent ,internet only offenders should get 1-5 years as punishment and IMMEDIATE COUNSELING. My son got ZERO counseling in the almost 3 years of his incarceration. It’s as if the SYSTEM said: “We don’t care about you — we’re going to show the PUBLIC that we are TOUGH on crime.

    Further proof of my son’s very wrong sentence was that, on appeal (which was lost) one of the three-judge panel wrote a 4 page “decent” wondering why “Schmidt, a first time, non-hands on, internet only, with no previous record, was sorry, cooperated, why he would get such a harsh sentence.”


    George Schmidt

    1. maggy

      i am so sorry for your loss. My son spent many years in jail, for rape. that was 30 years ago. the laws need to be changed and only those of us who lose their children feel the ultimate depth of pain. my son did not kill him, yet. but he is constantly depressed your son did not deserve the time. I lost my daughter to drug abuse, she was in a dark place. i am concerned about my son. A parent knowing they cant keep the children safe is the worst hell on earth, and this goes for soooooo many family members of the registry. i have truly entertained the thought of going to Washington and blowing myself away as an opportunity to make them listen to what these laws are doing to loved ones. My heart goes out to you. i am a nurse, and stable minded, but the anger, resentment, and hate that sometimes comes out of nowhere is unbelievable. These are OUR children. i have never judged anyone and i think it is because some day i knew i would be put to the test. am a true Christian or not? i am. please contact me anytime.via here.. maggy

    2. A NH Registrant

      George, I am so very sorry to hear what happened to your family. That is just insane that a judge can be that cruel to someone with a clear mental illness.

      I, too, was sentenced for a hands-off crime of possession. I had no criminal record, not even a speeding ticket. They found a single file on my computer because someone reported me. I had a pornography addiction, so I downloaded a lot of it. To my knowledge, none of it was of children. I am not, nor have I ever been, a pedophile. So, the only way I can imagine the file got there is if someone planted it, or it was in a mass download, or a virus/hacker. The Prosecutor drew up a deal of 1 yr in County and 3 yrs probation. Then, the detective got wind of our deal SOMEHOW and stopped it by stating that he had more evidence. My attorney and I were stunned. We only were allotted 1 examination of the evidence against me (my hard drive) by a technical expert. The detective produced discs that he claimed were mine which were loaded with the most vile materials one could ever imagine. My attorney said there was nothing we could do to fight a cop (my atty was a public defender since I’m low income).

      So, I was given a choice: go to court and fight against a cop and lose via a technicality of NH CP Possession Law and get 20 years, or take a plea and get 7 yrs maximum. I had no choice. I was forced to take a plea. I couldn’t fight the cop AND the technicality. It was a WIN for the prosecution and the Prison Industry, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. Now, I sit on this Registry (which I have to pay $50 a year for) for the rest of my natural life and have my picture and address on 3 WEBSITES which endangers my family as well as myself 3 possible times. And now, someone is going around killing Registrants in my area.

      The police don’t care.
      The state doesn’t care.
      The general public around here doesn’t care.
      And I get to live with this for the rest my life and my family’s lives.

      The Registry is a clear violation of Ex Post Facto (US Constitution), and also a violation of the Bill of Rights where it concerns CRUEL and UNUSUAL punishment. But, our mostly corporate-owned, FASCIST Supreme Court says that the Registry isn’t a punishment. The Registry puts my FAMILY in danger as well as myself for the one time I was convicted of a felony.

      What about murderers? Drug Dealers? Domestic Violence Felons? Drunk Drivers? Burglars? Thieves? Assaulters? Do any of them have to be on a public registry in 3 DIFFERENT PLACES and endanger THEIR families? Nope! That is reserved for US!

      It’s disgusting what our country done to the people they fear: African Americans, Italians/Germans/Asians locked in internment camps in World War II, and now US. Children are more in danger from ALL of those felons that I mentioned than ANY Registrant. They’re harmed more often by falling off bikes/skateboards, etc. than by ANYONE on the Registry. Only 5% or less are truly dangerous people. Why are the other 95% of us on the registry?

      Answer: Money, Votes, Promotions. It’s just sickening what we’ve become. Home of the Free, indeed!

    3. Mary bCurro

      My son has been forced to be on a sex offender registry; he was falsely accused by his ex-wife, and is innocent of the charge, but because he had past history of drug use he took an Alford plea. Now, living in Virginia with me, he is required to be on the sex offender registry FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE, with no line of distinction between him and predators of CH ILDREN! THIS IS ABSURD, DRACONIC, AND JUST PLAIN WRONG, and something must be done to change this ridiculous situation. I sympathize with your dilema, and add mine to it. What recourse do we have?
      Thank you,
      An Agonizing Mother

      1. witness

        I agree with the fact that those who make FALSE REPORTS are not being held accountable, especially when they stick to those false statements!

        The very fact that this is NOT being properly addressed, and ruins TRULY innocent people’s lives, is a serious miscarriage of justice. I’ve sen law enforcement and even attorneys FALSELY LEADING these “confessions,” when they should not be admissible under threat, just for an attorney to “win” the case!

        But here’s the kicker:

        The main reason this is the worst problem, is because those who ARE VICTIMIZED by crimes that ARE committed, are devalued that much more being of the desensitization by the elements who falsely blame, vs those who are TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE because of the truly guilty who are never even charged with a crime because they have powerful attorneys and friends who make powerful threats against a victim reporting them, yet they will NEVER BE CAUGHT or outed because of corruption of law.

        When real victims ARE never compensated for the wrongs against them, those who make false reports only cause more grief to REAL victims.

        Those who make false reports need to be reprimanded. When that happens, they need to make charges stick harder on those who ARE guilty.

        It’s time that lies are outed, and criminals are contained, in order to stop the brutality against the innocent.

    4. DC


      I am terribly sorry for your loss.

      Witnessing personally how sex offenders are treated (over the last few years) completely shattered my view on American society and I’m still learning how to adjust to a society that is so unfair and so unjust. It makes one inspect every thought, word, or action with a microscope.

      I am definitely not proud to call myself an American if this is what it stands for.

      1. anonymous

        BIG difference!!!!

        The mother you mentioned, who ACCIDENTALLY “killed” her child, is FAR DIFFERENT from the INTENTIONAL ACTS of those who have ZERO REMORSE, consideration or concern for his/her intentional acts against his/her victims, and/or subsequently INTENTIONALLY REPEATED acts with yet ever-increasing “numbness” in committing crimes against others, that victimizes other vulnerable victims.

  2. yusuf manning

    Are there any case pending that challenge the Illinois sex offender law that places a ex sex offender back on the sex offender registry after they have completed the 10 yr registry and is put back on as a sexual predator for life after being convicted of a non sex offense felony

  3. Mark


    Am so sorry for your loss. This is heat breaking that a life has been lost for just seeing something on the internet. I agree with most of these sex offenders laws if in fact a adult or child has be violated physically. But what happened to your son is just horrible.

    Your story is so very sad, I don’t know else to say to provide the comfort that you deserve.

    Am Sorry

    1. Student

      There has been so much wrong, almost opposite information published about this subject. In pouring over forums and such last night, I found a paper written by Christopher Bruell, Ph.D; with no axe to grind. that very eloquently, but simply and understandable terms explains the truth with proof by citation for every point he made. You must read this!

  4. Grace

    My son was convicted as a sex offender because the girl he met thru a friend, they both lied to him and conspired to lie to him about the girls age, He ask the girl how old she was, it was not ignorance of the age, because he ask, and it was backed up by anothers word whom he thought he could trust. Now he is labeled as a sex offender and all those conditions for sex offenders is so far out there it is unreal! When you do the time and you get out, You have paid your debt. There needs to be stipulations in most of the cases, because in Florida the conviction rate is 95 % because the law does not let you have a defense. This is the worst state in the union, I was born here and lived here all my life, was a police officer, and I will never understand the logic behind doing this to someone who has been labeled a sex offender and has done their time and gets out to start a new life, but can not due to the stipulations forced on them. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! NOT ALL ARE PREDATORS, THOSE WHO SEEK OUT CHILDREN …THEY SHOULD BE LABELED SEX OFFENDERS, Not those who do not. and especially when there is sworn statements to prove their innocents. IT MAKES ME WANT TO PULL MY HAIR OUT!!! I AM SO FRUSTRATED WITH THESE LAW MAKERS. I AM GOING TO FIGHT TO GET THIS CHANGED IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO WHILE I AM ABLE TO DO SO… I WILL STAY ON IT TIL MY LAST BREATH! ANYONE WANTING TO JOIN FORCES TO GET THIS LAW CHANGED … I AM AVAILABLE TO WORK WITH YOU AND SPEAK OUT ON THIS HORRIBLE LAW. MY SON WILL BECOME A SOCIAL OUTCAST. LIKE SOMEONE WITH THE PLAGUE. IT IS NOT RIGHT, IT CAUSES OTHERS TO PREJUDGE THEM AND WANT TO DO HARM TO THEM…THEY DO NOT KNOW THE INDIVIDUAL CASE…AND EACH CASE I THINK SHOULD BE LOOKED AT CLOSELY…TO DETERMINE THE SEVERITY OF THE PERSON’S CASE… NOT ALL ARE BAD.. JUST CAUGHT UP IN A BAD LAW.

    1. Michelle Toste

      Hi Grace,

      My son got out Aug. 11th, and is struggling as your son, is. I would love to hear from you, as I am frustrated too, and not sure where to go with this….

      Thank you for posting!

      Michelle Toste
      (Denver…but son is in NM)

    2. Megan

      Grace, they dont need evidence. My husband was convicted of something he didnt do. They threatened him with 60 years in jail, but he is only serving 15 months because he read a piece of paper they wrote up for him. These laws need to change. And soon.

      1. Sarah Jane

        ‘they dont need evidence’ – I’ll second that. My brother is admitting to crimes he never committed, solely because they are threatening to incarcerate him for the rest of his life if he “dares” to take it to trial.

        I cannot believe the way our legal system handles these cases and how offenders are treated after their release.

    3. tmom

      I have been saying to everone who will listen that there something terrible wrong with florida sex offenders law , thay seem to judge all as one. My son is now stuck in florida with no family there , cant leave the state! his on house arrested meaning his has to wear the monator for two years he has time restructures when he needs to be back into the house,we are renting him a bed in a rooming house with other offenders that’s all we can afford, in one of the wrose area in town. he cant find a job he has looked he has no car no money ect he has to eat at a free food kitchen, we support him .with his rent and little money for bus fair it’s either live there or under a brige or go back to jail he was going to live with a friend but the friend live near a park . . he lost ever thing he had car,place we’re he lived 2 jobs . when he meet a women on facebook that turn out to be a 17 year con artists. Just a few months from 18th birthday.there was evidence of extortion and blackmail, by her , non of that was shown to the judge and the day district attorney said he was told that there was extortion and blackmail. But he didn’t see any evidence, month earlier I sent that evidence to the d,a office and as well as to my son’s attorney we hire . We do not live in florida seems like ever time there was a court date it was canceled ,that’s very hard on a family to make Plans to be there. Regardless the day they had the pretrial i didn’t get to make it , our family had made plans to be at the trial . But when my son called me he said his lawyer didn’t mention anything in my sons defence nothing about the blacking nothing about the court order evaluation by the psychiatrist , his findings were in favor for my son, his not a threat to anyone and his Not a sexual predator. And should not even be charged. As a sex effender. I ask the lawyer why was any evidence not presented to the court ,his answer was the judge don’t like it when you thow the victim under the bus.I said my son the victim ,that so called victim was never charge for extortion and blackmail,none of that matter I was told the fact is he went out with a 17-year-old.and even if my son was able to come home he can’t , we live next to a his mother I have many many sleepless nights. Are lifes will never ever be the same. Until the laws charges and the teens who look older and lie about there age to destroy an innocent man can be accountable for their actions, and that ever sex effender cases would be fairly judge . There will never be in peace in so many mother and fathere’s hearts.

  5. A SC registrant

    @Mary, I am sorry for what your son has went through. I too was a victim of false sex abuse allegation stemming from a 1999 divorce/child custody battle. Quite simply, my ex- wife separated from me taking our three children. She placed them in, I thought, a very harmful environment. I contacted child protective services in the county we resided in as a family. She moved to the adjoining county. After almost a year, a “founded” complain by me, and a treatment plan designed to the best interest of the children, my ex living at her parents decide to take matters into their own hands. They had a friend living in the county she now resided in working for CPS there. The case, 6 months after the separation and only 2-2 hour court appointed visits with my children, was transferred from my county to hers. The very next day, with the initial home visit, the case worker commented, “every thing seems in order” “I don’t see the neglect the father was referring to in his complaint with ______ county, however, I do have allegations that the father has inappropriately touched one of his daughters”. The nightmare began. With all the exculpatory evidence slid under the rug, a mother just doesn’t make these allegations, nor does a child lie about such a thing. When they moved out, my daughter in question was barely speaking. Most child victims disclose their abuse within 48 hours, this came some 5 months later and was not disclosed to my county’s CPS agent. That agent had numerous of times ask if the children had been physically, sexually or mentally abused. All times were reports in the negative. No traces, signs, behaviors or actions that would suggest any of those. Because I went to CPS being a concerned father, the mother, I find out after I am released from prison, only put the charge on me for two reasons; 1) to get me out of the picture and 2) because she believed I was trying to prove her an unfit mother so that I would win custody of the children. At that time I was working two jobs and running a newspaper route first thing 7 days a week. Where would I have found the time to tend to three children? Regardless, because of lack of evidence, the entire family (her mom, dad and brother and the ex-) was allowed to leave (I say flee) the state, quitting their jobs, cutting all ties, I sat in county jail for three years trying to go to trial to prove my innocence. Instead, after sitting in a jail cell on protective custody 23 hours a day for that 3 years, I plead guilty to an “attempting to commit a lewd act”. I was sentenced to the maximum and received 15 years under “non-violent” sentencing structures which meant I had to do 7 1/2 years for something I never done. I was told it was non-violent and I wouldn’t be exposed to the registry. Now I’m out and found out not only do I have to register, but have to do so for life. I can’t find work, I earned my paralegal certificate in prison and am currently in my senior year earning a BS in Legal Studies to further assist in my case. I have a civil suit in against all those involved and every lawyer for every defendant has done everything in their power to try to get my case dismissed. This is a current motion to dismiss now before the court of appeals simply because I didn’t redact personal information and then when I corrected that, I redacted too much, another motion to dismiss! I’ve been looking for work for almost three years now to no avail. The people I’ve encountered along the way, the laws I’ve read and the continuing consequences based on the registry laws imposed once you are released are unconstitutional. One saying I learned very well when behind the fence was “if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must be a duck”. There are no protection for people like your son and I Mary, because it’s what they call being “caught up in the system”. It would seem to me though with the old saying “its better to let 10 guilty go to prevent 1 innocent from facing conviction”, then with 1 innocent in anything, 1 is far to great of risk to put people like your son and I in harms way, basically making them destitute and homeless the way we as a nation have allowed the government to do. I served in the U.S. Army and am receiving benefits for service connected disabilities (thank God for the VA) which is helping me in my schooling. My dad, a retired 32 year Army Vet and my oldest sister another 30 years of service in the Air Force. I didn’t know I signed the dotted line to fight for the injustice, lack of proper assistance of counsel, denied the right to a trial, and now facing the consequences of someone else’s actions. I look at it this way.. who is worse, someone who might commit a crime like this or someone who falsely accuses someone of the same. Regardless, no matter how you look at it, innocent or guilty, these laws are just wrong and are against everything I’ve ever believed that this country is supposed to be about! Thanks for sharing your stories and thanks for reading mine.

  6. Donn

    Well for my part its a real mess-i live in california and am a single incident registrant of 23 years with no convictions,alligations or recidivist activity in that whole time. I’ve lost 3 rentals,3 jobs, wife I hadn’t met and a family I hadn’t even started when I was convicted,countless friends and opportunities. The system should allow a person to reclaim their life after so many years without an incident or complaint of any kind REGARDLESS of the original complaint or at least allow them to elect to be put down like a rabid animal by the state rather then live homeless/unemployed/threatened and with no security or opportunities for the rest of their lives.

    1. Dram

      The Megan’s law website where all the voyeurs can go and look at the pervs makes it a crime if someone on that list goes there to see if the information is correct, what are they afraid of?

      That all of the people listed might get together and become a political force?

      or that facebook can say that only sex offenders are not allowed, murderers welcome.

      What absurd world this is becoming, has become

      Political Prostitutes, that’s our lawmakers. When they can’t think of anything that would good to do to earn their votes they can always preen their feathers for how their making the world a better place by killing the sex offender.

    2. Not a monster

      I feel the exact same way as you. Been 25 years now. Im 46. Consensual, one time incident. Victim was 15. Did NOT want prosecution, says he feels awful what happened to me. His Aunt did not like me and it was she who pressured the DA to prosecute. Got a year probation in a plea to a misdemeanor but a LIFETIME of living hell. Im a Mom who has raised 4 wonderful children and taken in others whose home lives were sheer hell. No prior convictions and nothing since. I thank God I am a woman, as its usually made a joke of. I have been lucky enough to have an understanding husband to take care of me because I simply cannot get any kind of job to support myself or contribute. I smoke like a fiend as to ensure I don’t outlive him for I am so frightful of the future. I am scared shitless of most kids. I pick my youngest daughter up from school and I panic being around so many. I have done my best to keep trying to have a somewhat normal life. It simply is not possible to ever move on or live the American dream of being whatever I wanted to be. Everyone does background checks and the humiliation, the sneers, the rejection, the wondering who knows or who doesn’t, the constant fear my child will suffer fallout of immeasurable harm if other kids find out and she too, will suffer for something stupid I did one day 25 years ago. I have contacted the “victim” now 40 to apologize if I had hurt him in some way. He told me I had nothing to be sorry for, that it was he who was sorry. Is this really the best we in America can do? The disgust I feel being lumped in with violent rapists and those that molest infants and small children can not be expressed in words. I often wonder what my life could have been if not for my youthful stupidity. Ive never spent a second in handcuffs or jail in the traditional sense, but my home is ironically my prison and my refuge from a cruel world. Beaten and put in foster homes as a kid, alcoholic dad..the ONLY true bright spot has been my 4 wonderful children and the others I took in when their home lives were a living hell. ALL of them have turned out wonderful, intelligent, responsible and hard working, caring people. One even works as a prison guard for the local jail. I have MORE than paid for my mistake. I took responsability for it and never a day goes by that I don’t dream of being able to go back in time and change that one thing. No matter how much good I do, the outside world only sees the one bad mistake and assume the worst. I was never a threat to anyone, except myself.

  7. Megan

    My husband was in the army, his lifetime dream. He is serving time at ft Leavenworth for something he never did. What I thought was a little girls crush turned into an infatuation with my husband.. they found no evidence proving anything happened. When she asked him to leave me and wait for her, he said no. And that she was only 13. I was pregnant with our son at the time she said this. He battles a TBI and ptsd. He attempted to take his own life twice. He rather die than never see his son. Icing on the cake, they came out on facebook about the lies. But because they had him take a plea for less time, they cant do anything. We need to stand up together against these laws because now they don’t need evidence. Even if the rape kit showed that she was still a virgin, all they need is the accusation. I am glad I found this site. I feel all of your pain. Its not fair to any of us. It is terrible to think so many innocent people, just reading this brings tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for you all. Please know that I support each and every family on here.

    1. Cindy

      another group you might want to follow is – Welcome to Women Against Registry (W.A.R.) and please, pass on the web site to others that may need it

      Good Luck,

    2. Will Crump

      What happened to your husband is beyond a travesty of justice. I am so sorry that this has happened to your family. I know words are so hollow in situations like this.
      You are right about the non-existent burden of proof. All it takes is pointing a finger and the accused is guilty. End of story. Even if the accused has a lawyer like Perry Mason and Ben Matlock rolled into one and get cleared of the false charges, the public will still judge him guilty. They’ll chalk the not guilty verdict up to slick lawyering in stead of a just verdict.

      A common tactic is to scare the pants off of the accused by telling them how much time they COULD GET IF THEY TAKE THE CASE TO TRIAL. Since most know how these cases go, they take the plea so that they can see freedom again one day. It’s coercion and why judges let the practice stand I’ll never know.

      I wanted to advise you to prepare your son for an eventual cruel reality. When word gets out that your husband is in military prison for molesting a 13-year-old girl your son may become the victim of ruthless teasing and bullying. I don’t know how much time your husband has to serve, but once he’s out he’ll be on the registry. You need to start talking with your kids about this and prepare them for what lies ahead.

      May God bless you each and every one. I will be praying for you all.

      1. Megan

        Thank you. My son is only one and I cant tell him cause he wont understand. You are right, I am scared to death about my son being a target. The girl didnt realize exactly who she was harming. He is only serving 15 months. We have 11 to go. If it was actual molesting, he would be in there longer. But they charged him with sexual misconduct with a minor. Bc they didnt have proof for rape. So they made a story. It sucks and I battle it every day. I just try not to let it show. I still have a slight bit of hope that they find a mistake in the case. Thanks for giving me a little bit more faith that im not alone and someone will listen to me 🙂

  8. Cindy

    I am of the opinion that in most cases of those that have been charged and convicted with sexual assault , it is nothing more than “modern day slave trading” on the part of the system. Human life is bought and sold through the courts to justify the funding of new prisons, and job security in the states. And if there is a violation of probation rules, (which are arbitrary, per each PO Agent, and NOT written in stone by anyone or any department) then they are thrown in prison, not extended probation, or other appropriate sanctions, prison time!! Prison time even if their original sentence was jail time! Mind you, a violation, NOT another crime of any type, just a case of not following the loose rules. So now the offender has a hearing as to whether their probation will be revoked. (just this hearing alone has created many more jobs), and yes the administration law judges are the on the bank role of the Corrections, so they will NEVER rule for the offender, always in favor of the PO Agent, it is like the admin law judges prostitute themselves to the Department of Corrections. It is a crime what we do to our citizens and yet we go around the world and tell other counties about the abuse that they are committing amongst their citizens – the bureaucrats of this country that write these “slave trading” laws need to be replaced. Slavery was outlawed years ago!! Don’t fear some poor rag head living in a cave in a far off land, but be scared shitless of the suit and tie in Washington. (no offense to anyone when I use the analogy of “rag head”, just could not come up with something more meaningful in this scenario)

  9. Iowa S.O.

    I can relate to a lot of these stories. When I was 22,I had a 15 year old lie about things that never happened. But because of the way the Iowa laws are set up, I was forced into a plea agreement.

    I had gotten into a fight with my now ex wife and ended up that night borrowing a truck drivers sleeper cab. I woke up in the middle of the night to oral sex, that I did not initiate or allow to take place. I kicked her out of the sleeper and went back to sleep. Come to find out, she was a 15 year old prostitute, pimped out by her uncle. She tried blackmailing me, and I tried to die. The county attorney was the only person that wanted to press charges. I am the 9th out of 13 guys that this young lady, term used loosely, that she has gotten in trouble.

    The county sheriff at the time even stepped into my cell when I was in county jail, and told me that in his opinion they had the wrong person in there. My lawyer said that this still was not enough evidence to help my case and that the plea agreement was still my best option. That was 6 years ago and I’m still suffering the consequences. I have lost my home, jobs I had and jobs that I only applied for, my wife, everything.

    Six years later, I have only been divorced for a little more than a year, my ex wife tried to tough it out, I am still on parole for misdemeanors that I did 47 months locked up for three years worth of charges. I am lucky to have a support system of people that know I’m not some pedophile/predator, and a fiance with two girls that call me “dad”. I’m honestly hoping that I will be able to put this all behind me someday, but there are days that there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

    My knuckles have been bloodied and my spirit broken. I have been humiliated and labeled, bruised and robbed of some of the moments in my life I will never see. But I will continue to fight for others that may not always be able to fight for themselves. I just sometimes wish I had the resources to do more. So if anyone ever needs support on here, I can share a fresh bit of sunlight.

    1. Megan

      I am sorry to hear your story. I feel so bad for you. I am still with my husband. I know he is innocent. It is hard day to day looking at my son and knowing that he has no idea why daddy isn’t home. Its not fair and I support you. People often say that sex offenders should be put to death. They don’t even know the story, but they dont care. My prayers are with you and your family.

    2. DC

      My roommate is a registered sex offender and I witness his pain and struggles on a daily basis. He, too, took the plea bargain. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this, but there are people out there (like me) who see the idiocy and would like to help (whether that be support, reform, whatever).

      My roommate has been unable to find a job for almost a year. This doesn’t help my finances. But I’m more than happy to offer him a home. If I had children, I would trust him unconditionally leaving them in his supervision. He is not a predator.

    3. Sorry about the mess you got in…it’s really bad down here in Florida. Your civil rights are thrown out the window and the county I was in was the most corrupt in the state if not the nation. Back in 1999, I had a car accident when an 86 hit me headon, going the wrong direction on a one way hgy. He totaled my car and me. Had a traumatic brain injury, soine hip and alot of soft tissue damage. Got fired from my job at a paper in Sarasota, for being disabled, then lost my insurance, couldn’t afford the high cobra insurance…The doctor had me on vioxx and baycol, and they nearly killed me…went home to an empty house and empty bank account. Guess she had kept the last 4 or 5 house payments, so house was in forclosure, got evicted..could barely walk, and forced to live in a tent in the woods…homeless and no one would help me. Tried the V.A. clinic ibut was turned away…to many on their waiting list….I suffered from PTSD from what I went through in the Marines back in 1968….so that didn’t help things out either. Took 2 1/2 years to get my Social Security Disability, and as long to finally get in the V. A. The Social Security Doctors found me incompetent, had to have a copayee to handle my money, etc. One of my sons did that, but just signed all my blank checks and turned me loose?? Didn’t see much after that…needless to say, I was being exploited and abused by a group of street people, who were stealing thousands from my SSD, my pain and psych meds, then set me up, so they didn’t get in trouble. I was arrested in the local mental health crisis unit due to a suicide attempt…my PTSD episodes were horrible, and all the trauma that I went through back in 1968 was taking over, and the brain injury didn’t help either. Well I was arrested at the Mental Health Clinic on alligations by one of those street people, a 26 y.o. who told his story to his therapist, and she called the police….So they arrested me (never arrested before), and was put in jail. The court doctors found me incompetent so the judge ordered me to the trauma unit at V.A. Bay Pines, in St. Pete, but a U. S. Attorney there kept me out of court ordered treatment, so they just warehoused me there for 2,760 day’s. Almost 8 years of my life! No victim, no victim statement, never allowed to face my accusers, they all left the area or state according to my attorney. And was told thatthey should have released me after year #4, but they kept me for almost 4 more years…were talking in a South Florida County Jail!! They had finally found me competent in March of 2010, and my paid attorney finally came to the jail to see me (1st time in all those years) he told me that Judge Daily was going to release me and drop the charges, but I had to see one more court doctor to say that I wasn’t a threat to myself or anyone else. The judge dies of breast canser two weeks later, so we get stuck with a political appointee, who wouldn’t honor the other judges dying wish for my case….she was hammering everyone, especially anyone with a sex charge. You don’t even want to go to trial there, the State controls the jury, and brings in everyone and their dog as paid expert witnesses, to say exactly what they want and need for them to say…..My attorney comes again, and offers me a plea deal….no probation, no restrictions, but have to register twice a year. Can go anywhere, live anywhere. So I took it…had only seen one 81 y.o. cuban man win at trial. In all those years, so had to. In Florida, they have a point system to go to prison….I had a total of 4.7 points, thats four point seven points! It takes 44 or more points to go to prison. The jail faxed a paper about my case to the Dept. Of Corrections Reception Center in Orlando….they sent it back stating they wanted nothing to do with my case….so the jail turned me out on the street at 1:30a.m., disabled…oh, forgot to tell you, was in a wheelchair when arrested, denied me one in jail, just to go to medical, and court, which didn’t happen very often. Normally threw me in the back of a van in cuffs and schackles??? Had no family to pick me up, so called a lay pastor who would come to jail on Sundays, I was normally the only one who would go see him on Sundays. Remembered he said to call if i needed help. He was so upset with my case and how I was being treated, he went to my attorneys office to talk to them, but they wouldn’t let him in, he also went to our congressmans office, but they couldn’t help?? He did come, and got me a motel room and gave me some money, meantime I called my sister in California, and shee contacted my cousin in Tampa. His wife drove down and got me the next day. Thankfully, I got in a good county , and my case manager at the local Sheriffs office, has been great to work with, and couldn’t believe what I went through down in South Florida. I’m also originally from Southwest Iowa, was in the newspaoer and publishing business for32 years. Had been married for33 years before my wife ran off with another man, after the MVA. I plead out to credit time served, the 2,760 days…just to get out of that horrible jail, wanted to fight it all the way, but they ‘ve got you, and most of the guys in my pod got 15 to 35 years, most on just accusations by someone trying to put you away, or get back at you?? Sad. (

  10. Sad Mom/Grandma

    My son was accused by his niece (my granddaughter). Long story…my granddaughter got mad at her father 2 yrs before this and accused him. Then she got mad at her uncle & accused him. She told the police there was a text from my son to her saying “send me a naked pic of you”. that is the only evidence besides her word that they have. But when she realized that he will go to prison for a long time (in the state of FL) she said that she had been playing with his phone that night and sent some texts (not blatantly admitting she sent the text to herself). Days before this, she had texted me saying she was mad at my son and was “going to get him”. Well I guess she has. He’s been in jail for 14 months and prosecutor asking for life in prison. My son is depressed and told his attorney to accept 10 years if the prosecutor will agree. He’s given up. He feels like there is no fight left and in the state of FL….there doesn’t have to be any evidence. If a child says it happened, the man is guilty. Period. I know of a friend who had a son age 25 who was in a relationship with a 16 yr old, living at her mother’s house…the mother got mad at him so she charged him…he spent time in prison and is now on the sex offender registry. The purpose of these registry should be for true sex offenders…those who have raped for example. Not those who some girl gets mad and charges them or those who are in a consensual relationship. Yrs ago a kid at school who was 19 was charged who had been in a relationship with this gal for 4 yrs. He went to prison. This is wrong!! We need to change these laws in EVERY state. These people’s life’s are changed forever. Very sad mother and grandmother.

  11. Trevor Radcliffe

    I was also accused of having sexual relations with a minor, she was fifteen and I twenty one, she first claimed rape then changed her story two times till she said it was consensual.under Illinois law there does not have to be any evidence of transmission to convict, so DNA evidence didn’t make a factor.I faced six to thirty I was no saint,I had previous convictions for pot and retail theft,I was just a dumb kid.But I would never ever rape a girl that I thought was my friend or anyone else for that manner, she apparently had a crush on me and told people we were together.when I found out I admit I reacted poorly, but she angered went and falsely told people we had sex, people told me that she was saying these things but I told people that they were rumours nothing more and that the law would find me in the right, how naive I was, my life has been ruined and I watched as friends that I never thought would betray me fell away in droves.I was given a year probation but with no place to live I was violated and sent to prison for two years and marked as a sexual predator for life.I have new friends now and live my life as well as I can but this still effects my life in new and torturous ways I am glad that I happened to find this organisation it gives me hope, thanks for listening and fighting for those who have no voice.

  12. Billy

    Yes, I too have to register as a sex offender. Yes, it changes you. It changes your life, your job, your friends, others opinions of you. After all the **** I went through, I still believe that if you harm anyone (child or otherwise) whether it be rape, murder, theft or whatever it is, there should be serious consequences for that! I also understand each circumstance is different, especially with sex offenders because there are so many grouped into an abysmal lump of inconsistent policies/laws and there is no classifications as to certain crimes, other than to name them a little differently.

    I was in Bosnia when I received my charges…well, not technically, but you’ll understand soon enough.
    It was 2000…I remember it clearly, because I had just finished 6 years in the Army. I was mid twenties. February that year, I met with and had sex with an 18 year old. I knew her, so It wasn’t a stranger hookup.

    Fast forward to 2004…I was in Oklahoma with my dad. I got a call from an Attorney in Austin, Texas that was helping with a recent separation from my wife (married June 2000) and he informed me that I had 6 sexual assault charges and a pending warrant for my arrest. “ok ok, i’ll make the drive to Austin (about 8 hours) and talk with the police” I told him…”it’s a misunderstanding”.

    So I went. Packed a bag for an over-nighter at a hotel and left at 5pm. I pulled into Austin and was driving around, oh, it must have been 1 in the morning looking for a hotel along i-35 when cop pulled me over.
    Yup, I went to jail that night…and stayed there for over 6 months. I stayed in the Round Rock city jail. Georgetown county it was.

    I went, shackled to court several times over the course of those 6 months. I learned all kinds of things, such as how many actual “sex offenders” were in jail or going to court. There were a few of those kinds of guys in jail/prison that no one talks to because they were on the news for hurting/raping a kid or it was known that they committed such heinous crimes. That kind of stuff is not even tolerated in prison.

    Most of the guys that are held there, are held separately from other offenders, such as murder, theft or drugs. In the area I was in, there were over 250 men that have been or were going to court for a sex offense. I talked with most of them and I’d say that 80 percent of them were there because of a mad girlfriend, or they dated in high school and were 18/19 and their girlfriend was 15/16. I heard countless events about how all a woman has to do in that county is make allegations…and that was enough for a warrant, arrest and possible conviction. Well, not possible but more likely probable. I say this because that county, at the time, had an amazing 99.4 percent conviction rate of any sex offense.

    I thought this was a joke, but later found out that they were not bulls*******!

    In my case, I got all but 1 charge dropped, because I stayed and fought. I talked to the prosecutor, I spoke to the judge in court many times. I pleaded with them to look up my service record…it would be concrete evidence to prove I wasn’t guilty. But they kept referring me back to my public defender (which we jokingly called Public Pretenders) who didn’t want anything to do with truth. He wasn’t paid to care, he was paid by the public to defend me. He did not defend, he just told me to cop out and plea bargain. And I did. Which I later found out was a stupid a** move on my part.

    I started this whole ordeal by being offered 25 years in prison. I left court after those six months, with a single charge, sexual assault, probation and having to register as a sex offender. I felt like a winner after all that time they were throwing out. True, I was a soldier. I was used to getting banged up by circumstances, but I had no idea the connotations associated with registering as sex offender. I got 5 years deferred adjudicated probation…another mistake. I should have taken it to trial, but with all the promises by the prosecutor that he’d give me the maximum on everything allowed, I admit, it scared me a lot.

    I fought for freedom and now it was being taken away from me without my consent. I was confused, angry, had feelings of being let down by the justice system and all that stuff. I was also embarrassed. I had later read the 13 pages of what I couldn’t do and or where I couldn’t go and who I couldn’t talk to. I remember thinking “what in the hell is all this?! And why?”

    It’s 2015…in 2005 I said “f*** you” to my probation and left for Florida, where my family lived. I stayed there a while then moved to Oklahoma with my girlfriend. We had a wonderful daughter. We named her Amanda. She was born in 2006.

    In early 2007, some kind of accident I still don’t understand, took the life of my daughter. It’s still very hard to talk about…I was devastated.

    A month after that, 5 US Marshall’s showed up in my house to arrest me. I was still very depressed and didn’t put up any kind of resistance like they thought I would with my military background.

    I went to court…dozens of times. I was incarcerated so there was really nothing else to do. I was sentenced to five years in prison, the max they could do, for my probation violation, then I was shipped back to Oklahoma for facing federal charges…they called it “traveling in interstate commerce”. What that meant was that I crossed state lines while I was absconding from probation in Texas.

    So, just like that, I was facing a 5 year sentence in Texas for probation, which was essentially for sexual assault (I didn’t read all of the probation stipulations because I was ushered out of court quickly after judgment and the paperwork was withheld from me. (NOTE: DON’T TAKE DEFERRED ADJUDICATION if you don’t fully understand it)).
    And I was facing a six month sentence in federal court for another state line cross while on probation.

    I did time. A lot of it. I had a lot of time to think and reflect about things. I suppose I could have become jaded, suicidal, depressed. But I didn’t. Sure, I was sad and f***ed up for a while, but I pulled myself together. I thought about how unjustified the justice system is and how these plethora of sex offense laws are doing nothing but misinforming the public about it.

    I’m a grown man now, not a young punk in the Army who thinks he’s bullet proof. I still have to register as a sex offender. Has my life changed? Of course it has. I could list all the cant-do’s and feelings of insecurity or the looks I get sometimes, or the way someone treats me when they find out…it’s f****ng horrible how people can be at times. But I’m alive, healthy, relatively free in this country I fought to defend. I have a family still, well, most of them are still here (the rest have passed) and I have a loving girlfriend and we will be married next year. Oh, and we have a little one that will be born in December. No, I don’t know if it’s a boy or girl yet.

    If any of you need to talk or bs some things off your chest or even join up to help pass new legislation, I’m down like four flat tires. Contact me and I’ll send my email.


    1. Bo

      Hey I would love to talk I’ve had a similiar thing happen

  13. J Lowery

    I am so sorry. What a needless thing to happen. Every household is being affected by these crazy laws. My son also got 5 years for viewing porn that he downloaded at age 12. He is squeaky clean and would never harm anyone. What a communistic society we are becoming in the US. It sickens me to see how many lives are being destroyed. A judge in our town being charged at the same time as my son with exactly the same crime, received 2 months and community service. Go figure! You would think that Federal Law would have more sense.

  14. Uzziah A.Israel

    you already see my name,but it wasn’t always so. I changed it from Michael Ray because when my father passed I figured he wouldn’t be insulted by me changing my name. I lived in Minnesota for 24 years never made the best choices or even treated the women in my life the best I was physically abusive and just mean spirited. one day in 1997 during the summer months I abused my girlfriend at the time, I did this in front of my roommates who also happens to be a woman. I spent my girlfriend’s face I smacked her up and I made threats to her. I rent my hand in her hair as we went to sleep that night so she couldn’t run away like she did more often than not. however when I woke up it 6:27 in the morning she was gone two days laterthere was a knock at my door it was the Minneapolis Police who informed me that I was being charged with criminal sexual misconduct. 2 days after that they put me in jail. my ex girlfriend told them that I had forced her to perform fellatio on me and that she had spit it back in my clothes. anyone wnew me then could have told you that I wrote commando all the time. as I said I was incarcerated i sat in jail for almost almost a year I had a public defender who wouldn’t offend me a judge who hated me without knowing me and a prosecutor who prosecuted me without any evidence. here’s the kicker to the whole story when my roommate took the stand to talk about what she’d seen the prosecuting attorney asked this should be treated as a hostile witness. however in my trial they allowed my ex girlfriends friend who had given false information to the police on more than 1 occasion to testify in my trial my clothes came back negative and I guess they didn’t expect me to take my case to trial but I did and I lost no appeal helped my family had literally abandoned me I didn’t get a letter phone call a birthday card of visit or anythingfor the predominance of my time incarcerated. now I’m out and I’ve been out for 5 years, that would be something to rejoice about considering them off parole ,however since I’ve been out I have been followed around there are cameras in my house by individuals who followed me from Minnesota to Colorado who will not leave me alone I can’t go to a restaurant they will go in behind me at the restaurant talk to the wait staff to cook whoever will listen I can’t even go to a fast food restaurant without the fear of someone spitting in my food. I inform the authorities of the things that are going on here in Colorado Aurora Colorado to be more accurate. and once the police started to investigate my clean they went to the same individuals who are committing these crimes and started to take statements from these individuals concerning my doings. they have told the police that I have a gun they stand outside my home in the middle of the night in my neighbor’s yard and they threaten to shoot in the house to shoot me in the head to come in the house in the middle of the night while we sleep and kill my family they threatened to poison my dog and oh yes I register once every 3 months faithfully. up until the time that I was incarcerated I believed that if you were in jail you had to have committed some kind of crime now all I see when I hear anything on the news about any crime glory hounds looking for a way to put a feather in your cap they don’t care about your lifes they don’t care about my life especially the police and I live in Colorado where you can see something getting ready to happen and the police will turn a blind eye to it these people these people who have been following me around are keeping me from getting a job keeping me from getting an apartment and it’s a constant harassment they have my phone tapped they have I don’t know how but access to my emails my text messages my phone calls everything but the police won’t investigate any of my claims concerning that but recently I found out that once I go to the storage that I share with my mother I will be arrested as soon as I open the storage because of these individuals cleans that I have a gun if you look at my criminal history you will see that the predominance of my criminal history was physical abuse never rape never sexual misconduct never messing with children anything like that however these are the rumors these individuals have spread to every neighbor in every neighborhood that I’ve moved into or moved from there are people in my current neighborhood who don’t know me from a box of macaroni however they know about my criminal history and specifically the sex offense I was convicted of I feel as though there is no recourse there’s no getting away from this and it feels like the police don’t want to hear anything from me unless they’re trying to arrest me the individuals who follow me around have made a whole lot of false accusations concerning me I can’t even go to the grocery store without the people in the grocery store looking at me sideways I don’t even speak to women in a way that it would even seem like I am interested in them because I’m so afraid of being accused yet again and being put in jail yet again for something that I did not do.I am currently in college online trying to get my bachelors degree in Business Administration with a focus on project management however the road is hard because all the students that I share a classroom with over the internet of course have been contacted and told about my criminal history my teachers have been contacted and told about my criminal history so I am treated differently I don’t mind that people don’t want anything to do with me but let it be because of something I’ve done to that individual person not from something they’ve been told by someone who was so scared of me that they hide in the shadows and I mean there’s a group of approximately 8 of them following me around everything they can do outside of physically confronting and when I say they hide I mean literally they hide in the house all day the cameras that they have are connected to their cell phones so when they’re sitting there watching me on their cell phones I can hear them talking and I know it sounds crazy but it is the absolute honest to god truth if there’s anybody out there who can help me I would greatly appreciate your help your assistance I’m not asking for money because I’m on a fixed income I get Social Security right now without it I would probably be begging for coins on the corner because this is how deeply these cats are in to ruining my life to keep me from moving forward to trying to keep me from trying to rebuild my life its been an uphill climb since I got out but I refuse to let that conviction to find me but these individuals will not allow me to live my life

    1. Angry Mother

      Oh you poor dear. How could anyone think you would do such a thing? Oh wait. The abuse you had inflicted in the past might have something to do with it.

      I am a mother of a little girl who spent the night at her best friend’s house like she had many times before and like most children have in their lifetime. Instead of fun she woke up with the 42 year old, 250lb father on top of her touching her and ultimately changing her FOREVER. He confessed. He also had videos of my baby girl on his phone of her asleep. In the small community that we live in it only took 5 days for people to know my daughter was the victim.

      Through NO ACTION OF HER OWN HER LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED. Now tell me, how or why anyone should give a damn about a predator’s suffering, embarrassment, or losses? You are not a victim. Whether you truly commited the sexual offense or not does not even matter. You affected the life of your girlfriend. And as the saying goes, every bad deed you do eventually catches up.

      But let me broaden this. It’s not just you. I came to Google to research laws to arm myself in order to vindicate my child, even if just slightly. And I was absolutely disgusted and shocked to see how many perverts, rapists, and molesters actually have the audacity to feel as though they are victims. This is exactly why I KNOW there is no possible way to reform them. The first step is to accept responsibility, but just like the selfishness that motivates anyone to steal a child’s innocence, many of you are too selfish to accept that every single time you’re treated poorly is the direct result of what you’ve done.

      My daughter will carry this for the rest of her life. And I will make damn sure he does as well. He can consider me his own personal karma. So suck it up pervs. You built the life you deserve.

      1. sandy

        Mother, I approved your comment so that I could ask–no, beg–something of you. First, I do understand how you feel. I have three relatives in three different generations who were childhood victims of sexual assault. I too became involved in this through research aimed at helping me understand it better. After almost seven years, I have learned so much, and I continue to learn.

        You cannot possibly know that the person you answered nor any other person has not accepted responsibility for the harm caused. Accepting that responsibility does not mean accepting a lifetime of impossibility of showing one has changed and deserves a second chance.

        What I want to beg of you is not to make your daughter a permanent victim. I am in no way belittling her pain and what was done to her, but if you, by your words or your actions, send the message to her that she will suffer the rest of her life due to it and that she will never recover, and that she is ruined beyond repair, you will have harmed her more than the original act did. When a child has a critical psychical illness, do we say to the child, “Well, you’ll die from this; just give up now”? Of course not; we assure the child she will get well, she will be just fine. We give her hope. Why should this be different?

        A great many people in our advocacy are former victims or have children who are former victims. We know that the continued persecution of those who are former offenders does absolutely nothing for public safety and has no effect on stopping child sexual abuse. We chose and choose every day to do what will make a positive difference. Any other choice is a selfish desire for revenge, and your last sentence shows you are going in that direction.

        Please help your child recover…meaningful therapy that focuses on recovering and moving on; support from you that this will not define her life. Please. And blessings and peace to you both.

      2. Angry Mother

        She will absolutely not become a permanent victim. Through the love and support of her family and friends she WILL recover. But this is something she will forever have with her. There is no erasing it. There is no undoing it. It will always be there. This child hasn’t even experienced her first kiss, or first boyfriend. No one can tell me that she will not struggle in the future. Will she have support and eventually live life? Absolutely. But the affects will forever lurk even subconsciously. Will they cripple her? No, I won’t allow it. I will always be her strength when she is weak.

        Revenge. Yes, it could be considered that. Perhaps I am a weak person that cannot forgive. However it has been only 20 days. Yes, I’ve counted the days. So it’s fresh. But perhaps as I cradled the shaking and sobbing body of my daughter something inside me broke. One sick individual affected not only an innocent child but every single person that loves her. I absolutely want him to pay. I want him to feel every ounce of pain she has felt. I want appropriate justice. I’m sorry if it makes me sick to see predators cry about their difficulties. I was raised to know that every choice made has a consequence. Some good, some bad. I cannot feel a bit of sorrow for them. I do however agree with some concepts here. There are certain offenses that are indeed prosected too harshly. On the same token, there are some that aren’t punished enough. There are some mental illnesses that can be rehabilitated. However, children are far too precious to be the guinea pigs.

      3. witness

        “You cannot possibly know that the person you answered nor any other person has not accepted responsibility for the harm caused.”

        Your assumption that you CAN know that the person HAS NOT accepted responsibility, is equally as possible.

      4. BRIAN

        Maybe you should just kill him . would that bring you peace of mind? What I don’t understand is why sex offenders have to register but murderers don’t. A woman in Ohio got drunk and ran over her 3 year old son backing out of her driveway killing him.But she dosnt have to register as a baby killer?? I’m not saying its OK to be a sex offender I’m only saying that if they have to register ALL criminals should have to. Even women that back over there toddlers.

      5. Sally

        I am writing to you as a victim of being a 4 years old with no defense to the man who I awoke to doing awful things to me. I am also a best friend to a man who would never hurt a child or think morally corrupt things to a child that is serving time due to a corrupt judiciary system. He is 100% INNOCENT and hike his children and family has a life sentence of a death threat do to the scorn of a woman who didn’t have life her way and wanted to end his. Of all people I should be one that shouldn’t see past a conviction and rely on a judgement of a judge but unlike many I research before I believe. Do you realize it only takes one person to scream “wolf” and everyone jumps to destroy. For those of you that are educated you will understand when I say it reminds me of the short story “The Lottery”. Do to the fact that they don’t look at evidence whether physical, mapping of time, credibility of the one witness… they just locked up a innocent man ruined his sons future, ruined any. Chances of a sain and safe life. Oh by the way, the judicial system we have had physical evidence,witnesses, and knowledge of the person who comitted a crime to me, and where he was located… Did I tell you he was military and was never saught after. I forgive him and hope he has changed his ways.
        The end of this story is don’t ruin people’s life on hear say. I understand that we have to protect our children but there is a better way of doing it as well as a way of prosecuting a person with full knowledge of facts not hear say. The law needs to be revised to protect both sides of the human population.
        “Only one who is without sin can cast a stone.” If you do not understand that quote pick up a copy of the Holy Bible, the contemporary seems to be easiest for most find a preacher and have a heart to heart.
        Everyone has to learn to forgive and to be forgiven. Your worst enemy is yourself

      6. sam

        I agree with you that people that actually committed the physical act against a child should be on a registry but what about people that made the mistake of looking at a few images out of curiosity and then never again? What about people that took a piss on the street and got caught by a cop? Mind you these two scenarios those people have absolutely no criminal history…they got caught for doing something stupid and victimless why do they need to register as sex offenders for the rest of their lives? Does the punishment really fit the crime?

      7. Rick

        I am a registered sex offender. In 2004 numerous county sheriffs deputies and fbi agents showed up at my house around 630 am while I, my wife and children were still in bed. They said they had a search warrant and asked me to voluntarily come down to the fbi office and talk with agents. I went while the others searched the house. At the fbi office the agents asked me if I looked at child pornography on the internet. I replied no. One of the agents pulled a cd out of his pocket and stated that he had and image of a 12 year old having sex with an unidentified male on it that was in a zip file emailed to an undercover agent in new york from my email address. I got up and walked out. The agents at my house told my wife that they must have the wrong house because no computers or pornography was found. They left. 5 months later I was arrested and charged with distribution of child pornography. Bail was denied because I was classified as a flight risk. Public defender shocked me into pleading guilty or face 15 years in federal prison. i was sentenced to 96 months in federal prison over one email. Prison was stupid, a joke. Now I have to register for 25 years. Sex offender on my license, id, passport and on internet. Been through 15 jobs since my release. Currently unemployed, when an employer finds out I am on the registry, they let me go for lying on my application. My wife is an RN so thank goodness I am not homeless, we own our home and live in a secluded area out in the county. Noone bothers us but I do not go out in public locally much. We go out to eat out of town. I dont go around people other than family. I accepted responsibility, was remorseful, contrite, yet I will deal with this forever stigma of being a threat to society for the rest of my life. Whatever. I just want to work and help support my family. I self employ for cash when I can. Searching for something I can make a living at working from home on the internet but havnt found anything yet. I dont feel sorry for myself. Ive secured employment with a railroad company, delivered newspapers, worked for a major auto manufacturer, furniture mfg, concrete company, office supplies company, printer. Before I was arrested I was an airport manager, pilot and physician clinic business manager. Im not allowed to work with anyone under 18 unless I hand deliver a written letter to my prospective employer of my sex offense. Would you hire me if I hand delivered one to you? HA. Now Im contemplating filing for SS disability due to panic attack, anxiety, ptsd and paranoia. It was suggested that I do this. Life goes on.

      8. witness

        “Victimless Act”? I seriously doubt that victims CHOOSE to be victimized.

        There is a big difference between those who CHOSE to live in that realm, vs those who DON’t even have a choice, and would NEVER DO THAT, given that choice!

        Yes they are unfair, as murderers and other dangerous persons SHOULD be outed. once they have PROVEN to live a life of true remorse, and would truly NEVER offend again (far more rare), which is more often NOT the case.

        If someone commits a crime against an unsuspecting victim, and gets away with it, they will probably use those same deceitful devices, and never be caught!

        It’s the ones who have terrified and threatened their victims to the point of never being outed are the most dangerous ones who will never be caught, or outed by their enablers and corrupt attorneys!

  15. Uzziah A.Israel

    let me start by saying that I apologize I did not mean to make my post seen that everything is all about me I am in just such dire straits that I don’t know where to go who to talk to what help is available for me I am sorry for everyone who has lost someone I am sorry for everyone who was wrongly convicted and I sympathize with the families of those who are going through this travesty of law. I have learned recently well since 1997 that all it takes in this country is an accusation and as I stated in my last post I have believed like most of America that if you were convicted of a crime you had to have committed the crime. but since I was locked up on an accusation I learned the truth of the matter and again I’m sorry for anyone who has to go through this who has gone through this who’s currently going through this I understand what it is like and I don’t wish this on anyone I also understand how easy it is for our justice system to peddle human flesh my views of the laws in this country has changed drastically and again I don’t want to see like I’m being self centered in any way but it took me going through this experience to be able to see that not all things are as they seem and that we cannot as a society just go along with the status quo because we’re afraid of being a foster sized if we don’t agree or don’t go along or don’t fall into a certain category and I hope to god that everyone who was going through done through anything like this but there is resolution in your lives as well as mine that is beneficial to you and your family I know the things that you lost you can’t get back and I know how hard it is to live under the weight of having to register especially when you’re innocent I understand how people view you what they think about what they say about you and how they treat you when they see you my heart goes out to everyone have a good night and if you need to reach out to someone my information is on the website keep me updated keep me in the loopkeep me in your hearts and in your mind and I will do the same for you

  16. A. Bodhisattva

    Something many people here are overlooking is the thought of prosecutors and the judicial system that even if they can’t sentance any SO to death, which I believe many would, they will put them in a place where someone else WILL finish the job, or come darned close.

    I speak from experience, having returned to “normal” society from a bid at a Low security Federal facility on the East coast.. Two very large compounds with 2200 men on each, with a population stated (by multiple case managers) to be 55% SO’s.
    -> Incidents of intimidation, extortion, beatings or outright murders (uh, excuse me.. “accidental death”) were staggering and fairly ignored by the warden and staff who were much more concerned about shipping drug dealers out as fast as they could, back to the life they once lead. SO’s could simply rot.

    And my life? An educated person with 30 years of professional work and titles is a part-time dishwasher. The staff “outed” me by a simple Google search and are now trying to “short shift” me in order to make me quit.

    This is not a life, and not a bit fair. To all – I feel your pain.

    1. Douglas Thurber

      I was in prison and was told, your a registered sex offender, “no I’m not “, I replied, “yes you are and have been since 1987”,
      What a nightmare, they registered me and my 9 years was a bureaucratic, emotional, social, horror story that ruined my life, and made me live in fear, all over a paperwork mistake at DOJ.
      I stilllive in fear, even though I have been removed from the list, once out it’s always out I’m told.
      I can’t talk with anyone about this, you must be guilty of something, right, our government doesn’t make mistakes.
      This is an ongoing seemingly never ending nightmare.
      I feel yourpain,

  17. Stephanie Vargas

    My fiance, and the father of my children, is a wonderful man. He is a US Marine, he loves our babies and does so much better with them than I ever could. He’s an engineer, well educated, and just so intelligent. So our story is this:

    Before he and I started dating, we were both going through divorce. He was dating a girl somewhat casually. Long story short, they were both very intoxicated one night at a bar and neither of them remember what happened that night. They eventually broke up, we met, we fell in love got engaged, had a baby, and I was pregnant with our second child when he found out that the girl he had dated before we met was accusing him of rape.

    We later found out she had gotten pregnant from that night that they both dont remember and he submitted to a dna test, the baby is his so they must have had intercourse. She apparently was in a long distance relationship with someone else at the time and to explain it to this other guy she said she was raped becasue she didnt want to admit she had cheated. He pressured her to go to the police, she did. Keep in mind at this point her son is already a year old. So he gets dragged through the court system and then she has a change of heart and starts admitting that it wasnt rape and that she was sorry for all the trouble she caused. The prosecutor didnt care and was asking for the maximum sentence of 17-25 years. We finally made the decision that he would take a plea of 2 years, our oldest wont even be three when he gets out in May. We made this decision because he was so afraid of missing our childrens entire lives and I dont blame him.

    We are now being told that he will not be allowed to live with me when he gets out because of our minor children. I really hope this gets straightened out. The more I learn about the registry the more devastated I am. He will never be able to go to school plays and can even be denied access to theme parks with our children. It is unfair what these laws do to the families involved and fighting the charges is so scary, I’m not sure which is worse.

    1. sandy

      Stephanie, the severity of his conditions under probation and then later as “just” a registrant will vary from state to state. Don’t assume that everything you have been told is true. Conditions can also vary dependent upon whether the victim–in this case “victim”–was a minor or an adult. Please consult an attorney.

      1. none

        dont listen to them. so areas are getting worse. in orlando fl because of orange county laws its 1500 ft fron school church or park whichmeans alot of them are living in tent citys in the woods.

      2. witness


        I agree. Many of these “wives” and other unsuspecting women have ZERO idea that “their man” would actually do such a thing to those who are in a more vulnerable situation than the “wife” they choose to “marry.”

        There ARE some men out there who specifically and intentionally SELECT unwitting women as their targets, and other women as their “cover,” (eg their spouse) to use as a “character” witness.

        I’ve seen several men intentionally select a spouse who they can con into defending “their innocence,” and this is part of the game they use to protect themselves as their cover, vs the vulnerable women they choose to target.

    2. Amelia

      omgosh our stories are alot alike. i dont knoww where your from but in Alabama if u are married he can be in the house

  18. witness

    So sad that so many women blindly accept the lies they have been told, especially when they are so dependent on their man.

    Women need to learn to be more independent and discerning about those whom they “protect.”

    BTK would be just one perfect example of that!

    It happens fare more often than women would even ACCEPT that their own husbands, sons and even their own parents might commit such crimes, but they DO!

  19. witness

    So the fire chief/pilot sexual predator who never gets caught because of the powers-that-be who protect his crimes, is allowed to continue his crimes and cons, unabated, just because he knows how NOT TO GET CAUGHT???

    What a truly sick world we live in when those of “title” and “power” over others are not outed or convicted of their crimes!!!!

    SHAME on the cohorts and corrupt perverts and attorneys who abet them!

    The ABA needs to do FAR MORE VETTING of some of these “attorneys.”